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So......I have been struggling with something. I work for the Government of Canada. We have a policy that says that we are not to book meetings or do business with places that are inaccessible. Yet the department I work in consistently books some meetings (mostly for social reasons such as retirement or going away parties) at a nearby venue...an air force mess hall...that is completely inaccessible. Stairs to get in, and more stairs once you get in. I can't tell you the number of times over the years in which I have declined invitations to one event or another at this location, and explained why I cannot attend. Recently, I learned that a colleague had booked a work-related meeting at this venue. I thought, "I have to do, or say, something". I know that these incidents are never intentional. And the people booking the meetings probably never stop to think about what they are doing, and the attitudes they are reinforcing. They probably think, if they stop to think, well no-one coming to the meeting is disabled, so it's not really an issue. And I wonder how they would react if the same venue had a sign outside that said, "blacks not welcome", or "women not allowed", or "no Jews". Because a venue that is not accessible is saying that people like me are not welcome, that we are not valued, that we are not part of the community.
So I am going to raise this issue at our next management meeting. And I hope that my colleagues will agree that if someone discriminates against one of us, they discriminate against all of us. And maybe, if this venue loses a regular clientele, they will do something about their lack of access.
30 Kasım 2012 Cuma
I didn't miss this funk!
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Some women may get PMS, but I get MS - not to be confuse with the disease MS. I have to tell you. I did not miss the hormonal upheaval the last 7 weeks - at all. I guess some women get hormonal with menopause, but so far... knock on wood, not me. Hot flashes for a bit there, yes, but no hormonal craziness.
So yesterday and today when I had no reason to be a grouchy, weepy woman, I was. I hate that!' And I hate knowing why I feel the way I do, but not being able to change how I feel even with knowing it's hormones and not 'real'.
In a way, it kind of reminds me of the movie The Matrix (which we just saw last week for the first time). I don't know how exactly, but these people are living lives they think are real, but aren't. So, these are feelings that feel real, but they are not - it's hormones making me wacky!
I should be back to normal tomorrow - I hope! Please! And because of it. I don't even want to write in my blog. I just feel like "Whatever".
So yesterday and today when I had no reason to be a grouchy, weepy woman, I was. I hate that!' And I hate knowing why I feel the way I do, but not being able to change how I feel even with knowing it's hormones and not 'real'.
In a way, it kind of reminds me of the movie The Matrix (which we just saw last week for the first time). I don't know how exactly, but these people are living lives they think are real, but aren't. So, these are feelings that feel real, but they are not - it's hormones making me wacky!
I should be back to normal tomorrow - I hope! Please! And because of it. I don't even want to write in my blog. I just feel like "Whatever".
Bigger breakfast - I'm less hungry later
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Interestingly, this didn't used to be this way. When I used to eat a big breakfast, I was still hungry at my regular times, but it seems something has changed.
The last three mornings, I ate my usual protein bar, but also a part of a peanut butter sandwich (leftovers from my son as the bread I made last was HUGE). Don't believe me, take a look:


That is some seriously TALLLLLL bread. I tend to make whole wheat breads the most and they don't rise as nicely, so I think my technique of mixing dough has gotten too good as now my white breads are enormous!
Anyway, I ate a bit of his PBJ and the result was that I was less hungry. Like a lot less hungry. I ate about 150 calories extra in the morning and that saved me from eating about 300-400 calories before lunch. So, both yesterday and today, I was finally able to eat a bit under 1500 calories for the day and it wasn't a struggle.
That was Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Let's see how it goes with the week. Tomorrow will be easier as I have a blood draw and since the form didn't say if I should fast or not, I'll fast just to be sure. I won't be able to eat anything until about 10 am (or so).
And you know I'm looking forward to a blood draw, right?
The last three mornings, I ate my usual protein bar, but also a part of a peanut butter sandwich (leftovers from my son as the bread I made last was HUGE). Don't believe me, take a look:


That is some seriously TALLLLLL bread. I tend to make whole wheat breads the most and they don't rise as nicely, so I think my technique of mixing dough has gotten too good as now my white breads are enormous!
Anyway, I ate a bit of his PBJ and the result was that I was less hungry. Like a lot less hungry. I ate about 150 calories extra in the morning and that saved me from eating about 300-400 calories before lunch. So, both yesterday and today, I was finally able to eat a bit under 1500 calories for the day and it wasn't a struggle.
That was Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Let's see how it goes with the week. Tomorrow will be easier as I have a blood draw and since the form didn't say if I should fast or not, I'll fast just to be sure. I won't be able to eat anything until about 10 am (or so).
And you know I'm looking forward to a blood draw, right?
If money weren't an issue, would I get surgery?
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I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.
But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.
I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.
And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.
On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!
I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.
But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.
I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.
And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.
On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!
I'm in for it now - working with a personal trainer
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I did an interview today with one of the people in charge of the personal trainers with the organization I work for and for where I go to the gyms. I had no idea there was so much you get when you hire a personal trainer.
So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.
I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!
When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!
I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.
And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.
I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.
2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."
And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.
Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.
Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)
All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.
So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.
I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!
When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!
I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.
And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.
I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.
2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."
And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.
Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.
Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)
All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.
29 Kasım 2012 Perşembe
Weekend Activities
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The past few days have been filled with family and lots of laughter. We had a well-deserved break from sanctuary/rescue work (not that it looks like we’ve been doing much as of late).
We’ve been treating Babe’s head wound. I think it’s getting better. Her owner came out early last week and gave her a “sweating to the oldies” headband look. I busted out laughing when I saw it. I know, I know, I’m being mean. But she looked so cute although I feel bad for her. I think the infection is slowly healing. I need to get out and do chores before it gets pitch dark out. I missed the injury until it got bad because I haven’t been out during the day since daylight savings time. I’m doing thorough body checks now to make sure everyone stays healthy.
Saturday we pushed in round bales to the big herd. We bought a cinch net and tried it out this last time. It saved the bale and we could have waited to push bales in for another day but having only one cinch net, two bales, and nine horses, there wasn’t enough room on the bale with the cinch net to let all the horses at the hay. The weather was decent so we buckled the little G-Bear in the truck and worked as quickly as we could to get the bales in. I’m going to be pinching my pennies so that we can buy another hay net. What a handy thing for all horse owners who feed round bales to have. There’s no mess and it makes the bale last a lot longer. Granted the bales we have aren’t the greatest and that’s why we are using them now instead of in the middle of winter when they can keep their head buried in the bale longer. When the real cold sets in, we’ll have high quality hay to feed instead.
I’m also wondering if the cinch net wouldn’t work for Rabbit. She can’t be on a round bale because of her heaves. Her heaves flare up even when I just toss hay, although pitching it from the round bale into her pen seems to keep the heaves down. But I’m wondering if she can’t bury her head in the bale, if that would help. It’s a theory I want to try. At some point we won’t be able to get our big squares and will have to convert to rounds (something I’m not really looking forward to until we get a tractor that can actually lift round bales).
I also decided to put Bo back in with the big herd. I don’t think he’s 100% sound yet but I had no choice. I’m keeping a close eye on him to make sure he doesn’t go totally lame again. We still don’t know what was wrong with him. The blood work came back negative for everything so maybe it was a severe muscle pull but I don’t think so. I think there may be something neurological but who knows. He’s a bit off but he was still a bit off when he was in with Babe. But the other night he kicked the crap out of Babe and she was a hurting girl. Luckily it wasn’t too severe and she wasn’t lame on the leg for more than 24 hours. But I do NOT tolerate bad behavior towards the blind horses. Makes me furious. So, if we have to pull Bo out of the big herd, I’ll have to do some rearranging to see if I can get Bo back in where I have Babe right now but have it so that they aren’t in together. For now Babe will be alone until she recovers from her head injury and to make sure that the kick to the shoulder/leg doesn’t flare up. (We seem to be having a rash of bad luck this fall, like every fall it seems). Babe’s owner suggested that we might get a goat because she used to be in with a goat. I’ll keep an eye on Babe’s demeanor and then decide what to do. The neighbor has goats so I may see if I can’t snag a goat for a little while to see if that helps Babe’s mood. She’d been down in the dumps ever since we lost Queen and Thor in September. Putting Bo in with her was a bad mistake. She got more flighty and was very uncomfortable with him pushing her around all the time. So we’ll see how things go with her being in a pen with a bale in front of her 24/7 first before we make any more herd adjustments. I had thought of putting Brego with her but for now, we’ll just let her come down from all the changes.
In other more up-beat news, Borderlands is participating in a Festival of Trees this weekend. I don’t have all the details but it’s going to take place Sat Dec 1st and Sun Dec 2nd in Colton, South Dakota. There is a silent auction where you can bid on decorated trees. Borderlands is donating a tree for the festivities. As always, we are going the unconventional route. So if you happen to make it to the Festival of Trees, you’ll be able to spot our tree with ease. I don’t know the times but it takes place at the Lutheran Church in Colton, South Dakota. I’ll try to post more of the details later but thought I’d give you all a heads up in case you wanted to sneak over to look at all the beautifully decorated donated trees and enjoy some holiday festivities to get you into the mood.
Also, we are going to have a fundraising brainstorming meeting this Saturday, December 1st at Borderlands starting about 5:30pm. I would love to see you there. Just let me know so I know how many pizzas to order. Of course I have to feed you if you help! That’s the rule at Borderlands. If you help, I can’t pay you but I can sure feed you. It’s the least I can do. So, if you’re free this coming Saturday please join us to come up with some fundraiser ideas. I want to focus 2013 on fundraising so that I don’t have to say no anymore. There are too many well-deserving horses that need a soft place to land be it for a few days, weeks, months, or years. Everyone deserves a retirement.
We’ve been treating Babe’s head wound. I think it’s getting better. Her owner came out early last week and gave her a “sweating to the oldies” headband look. I busted out laughing when I saw it. I know, I know, I’m being mean. But she looked so cute although I feel bad for her. I think the infection is slowly healing. I need to get out and do chores before it gets pitch dark out. I missed the injury until it got bad because I haven’t been out during the day since daylight savings time. I’m doing thorough body checks now to make sure everyone stays healthy.
Saturday we pushed in round bales to the big herd. We bought a cinch net and tried it out this last time. It saved the bale and we could have waited to push bales in for another day but having only one cinch net, two bales, and nine horses, there wasn’t enough room on the bale with the cinch net to let all the horses at the hay. The weather was decent so we buckled the little G-Bear in the truck and worked as quickly as we could to get the bales in. I’m going to be pinching my pennies so that we can buy another hay net. What a handy thing for all horse owners who feed round bales to have. There’s no mess and it makes the bale last a lot longer. Granted the bales we have aren’t the greatest and that’s why we are using them now instead of in the middle of winter when they can keep their head buried in the bale longer. When the real cold sets in, we’ll have high quality hay to feed instead.
I’m also wondering if the cinch net wouldn’t work for Rabbit. She can’t be on a round bale because of her heaves. Her heaves flare up even when I just toss hay, although pitching it from the round bale into her pen seems to keep the heaves down. But I’m wondering if she can’t bury her head in the bale, if that would help. It’s a theory I want to try. At some point we won’t be able to get our big squares and will have to convert to rounds (something I’m not really looking forward to until we get a tractor that can actually lift round bales).
I also decided to put Bo back in with the big herd. I don’t think he’s 100% sound yet but I had no choice. I’m keeping a close eye on him to make sure he doesn’t go totally lame again. We still don’t know what was wrong with him. The blood work came back negative for everything so maybe it was a severe muscle pull but I don’t think so. I think there may be something neurological but who knows. He’s a bit off but he was still a bit off when he was in with Babe. But the other night he kicked the crap out of Babe and she was a hurting girl. Luckily it wasn’t too severe and she wasn’t lame on the leg for more than 24 hours. But I do NOT tolerate bad behavior towards the blind horses. Makes me furious. So, if we have to pull Bo out of the big herd, I’ll have to do some rearranging to see if I can get Bo back in where I have Babe right now but have it so that they aren’t in together. For now Babe will be alone until she recovers from her head injury and to make sure that the kick to the shoulder/leg doesn’t flare up. (We seem to be having a rash of bad luck this fall, like every fall it seems). Babe’s owner suggested that we might get a goat because she used to be in with a goat. I’ll keep an eye on Babe’s demeanor and then decide what to do. The neighbor has goats so I may see if I can’t snag a goat for a little while to see if that helps Babe’s mood. She’d been down in the dumps ever since we lost Queen and Thor in September. Putting Bo in with her was a bad mistake. She got more flighty and was very uncomfortable with him pushing her around all the time. So we’ll see how things go with her being in a pen with a bale in front of her 24/7 first before we make any more herd adjustments. I had thought of putting Brego with her but for now, we’ll just let her come down from all the changes.
In other more up-beat news, Borderlands is participating in a Festival of Trees this weekend. I don’t have all the details but it’s going to take place Sat Dec 1st and Sun Dec 2nd in Colton, South Dakota. There is a silent auction where you can bid on decorated trees. Borderlands is donating a tree for the festivities. As always, we are going the unconventional route. So if you happen to make it to the Festival of Trees, you’ll be able to spot our tree with ease. I don’t know the times but it takes place at the Lutheran Church in Colton, South Dakota. I’ll try to post more of the details later but thought I’d give you all a heads up in case you wanted to sneak over to look at all the beautifully decorated donated trees and enjoy some holiday festivities to get you into the mood.
Also, we are going to have a fundraising brainstorming meeting this Saturday, December 1st at Borderlands starting about 5:30pm. I would love to see you there. Just let me know so I know how many pizzas to order. Of course I have to feed you if you help! That’s the rule at Borderlands. If you help, I can’t pay you but I can sure feed you. It’s the least I can do. So, if you’re free this coming Saturday please join us to come up with some fundraiser ideas. I want to focus 2013 on fundraising so that I don’t have to say no anymore. There are too many well-deserving horses that need a soft place to land be it for a few days, weeks, months, or years. Everyone deserves a retirement.
Festival of Trees
To contact us Click HERE
To get everyone in the holiday spirit at Borderlands, we decied to participate in the Festival of Trees this coming weekend. We are donating a tree for the silent auction. All fundraising monies will be given in memory of Darla Van Asselt to the Feeding South Dakota Backpack Program at Tri-Valley and Chester schools. We may be small and a private sanctuary but everyone needs a little help now and again and this is one way we can help.
So, if you would like to get into the spirit of Christmas (or want to see the tree Borderlands donated tree), stop on out and bid on a tree!
Festival of Trees
First Lutheran Church
Colton, South Dakota
Silent Auction and Music
December 1st and 2nd from 2-4pm to view and bid on the donated trees (and wreaths). Enjoy piano and vocal Christmas music (and if it's the same lady singing, GO and listen. She is absolutley amazing! If she had a CD, I'd buy it, she's that good.)
December 2nd 4-5pm Organ Christmas Concert
December 2nd 5pm they announce the auction results.
http://www.augie.edu/related/flccolton/forms/2012%20Festival%20of%20Trees.pdf
Borderlands will be at the festivities on Saturday. We will miss out on who gets the decorated Christmas trees, wreaths, etc. but we will be getting ready to participate in the Parade of Lights in Hartford, South Dakota. So if you happen to be in the Hartford area, stop on our. I'll be riding Zeke. The parade starts at 5pm. I'll be riding for the Cowboy Way Riding Angels drill team.
Hope to see you at the Festival of Trees on Saturday and at the Parade of Lights on Sunday!
So, if you would like to get into the spirit of Christmas (or want to see the tree Borderlands donated tree), stop on out and bid on a tree!
Festival of Trees
First Lutheran Church
Colton, South Dakota
Silent Auction and Music
December 1st and 2nd from 2-4pm to view and bid on the donated trees (and wreaths). Enjoy piano and vocal Christmas music (and if it's the same lady singing, GO and listen. She is absolutley amazing! If she had a CD, I'd buy it, she's that good.)
December 2nd 4-5pm Organ Christmas Concert
December 2nd 5pm they announce the auction results.
http://www.augie.edu/related/flccolton/forms/2012%20Festival%20of%20Trees.pdf
Borderlands will be at the festivities on Saturday. We will miss out on who gets the decorated Christmas trees, wreaths, etc. but we will be getting ready to participate in the Parade of Lights in Hartford, South Dakota. So if you happen to be in the Hartford area, stop on our. I'll be riding Zeke. The parade starts at 5pm. I'll be riding for the Cowboy Way Riding Angels drill team.
Hope to see you at the Festival of Trees on Saturday and at the Parade of Lights on Sunday!
1000 Posts
To contact us Click HERE
As the title says, this is our 1,000 post! Hard to believe that I could find enough to talk about, and yet I do. I know much of what I talk about is boring to most but it helps me keep track of our day-to-day activities and more importantly, when we say hello to a new member of the family.
We have seen a number of new family members and said goodbye to a number of family members also. We have been blessed with new friends. Some have come and gone, others stay (probably for the sheer amusement of the next funny story like chasing Zeke and Bo when I'm two days away from my due date...see picture).

I started the blog in March 2009, with some rambling thoughts and continue to ramble now three and a half years later. This year saw less rambling and will probably continue with that lack of daily posts until I can get into the swing of caring for an infant and caring for 15 horses.
I enjoy blogging although I need to be better about adding more pictures. We have grown as a sanctuary both in numbers and in knowledge. Much of the experiences have been an adventure but I look forward to sharing more adventures with you.
I would like to spend 2013 fundraising so that when the need arises, we don't have to say no to another horse that deserves a soft place to land. I am curious to know what you would like to see more of at Borderlands. More pictures, more posts, more about each individual horse, a newsletter? I'm game to try just about anything but am curious to know what others would like to see. Keep in mind I might not be able to do much but I would at least like to have the thought in the back of my mind so that if the time permits, I could do something more. So if you have an idea or a request, please let me know. Send me an email at Borderlandshorsesanctuary@yahoo.com or leave a comment on our Facebook page. If you are a follower, you can leave a comment on this post.
I look forward to hearing your ideas and to writing another 1000 posts. Thanks for sticking with us!
We have seen a number of new family members and said goodbye to a number of family members also. We have been blessed with new friends. Some have come and gone, others stay (probably for the sheer amusement of the next funny story like chasing Zeke and Bo when I'm two days away from my due date...see picture).

I started the blog in March 2009, with some rambling thoughts and continue to ramble now three and a half years later. This year saw less rambling and will probably continue with that lack of daily posts until I can get into the swing of caring for an infant and caring for 15 horses.
I enjoy blogging although I need to be better about adding more pictures. We have grown as a sanctuary both in numbers and in knowledge. Much of the experiences have been an adventure but I look forward to sharing more adventures with you.
I would like to spend 2013 fundraising so that when the need arises, we don't have to say no to another horse that deserves a soft place to land. I am curious to know what you would like to see more of at Borderlands. More pictures, more posts, more about each individual horse, a newsletter? I'm game to try just about anything but am curious to know what others would like to see. Keep in mind I might not be able to do much but I would at least like to have the thought in the back of my mind so that if the time permits, I could do something more. So if you have an idea or a request, please let me know. Send me an email at Borderlandshorsesanctuary@yahoo.com or leave a comment on our Facebook page. If you are a follower, you can leave a comment on this post.
I look forward to hearing your ideas and to writing another 1000 posts. Thanks for sticking with us!
Hospital Ward
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Last night we rearranged pens again. Hopefully this arrangement will work. We put Bo back in with the big herd Saturday but he seemed like he was off more Sunday and Monday. But on Tuesday when I looked, he didn’t seem as bad. But I don’t want to risk him getting hurt again or being off still. I don’t know what’s wrong but my theory is that if he stays off concrete, doesn’t get pushed around, and stands on fairly soft ground (soft for it being almost December), then maybe he’ll come out of whatever it was. Maybe it was something neurological, maybe it was a severe pinched nerve. Who knows? So last night after everyone had their grain, Mike and I hauled corral panels in to Babe’s pen. We divided the pen into two smaller ones. I have nowhere else to put Bo otherwise. I don’t want him in with the mares and ponies. I don’t think that’ll give him any relief. And right now there’s no round bale in front of them so not as ideal for gaining weight quickly before winter sets in. The dilemma is water. We have the 100 gallon tank with heater in the pen but dividing it means that someone won’t get the warm water. We opted for Babe to have the big tank even though she won’t drink that much. We need to encourage her to drink so that’s who gets the big tank. Mike is working on a new game plan for Bo so that he can have warm water all the time too. We divided the pen so that Bo would have 24/7 access to the round bale. When we push in a new round bale in another week or so, we’ll rearrange the pen a little bit different to give Babe a bit more space. B abe was very upset last night when we brought Bo over. She didn’t realize that she was in a pen by herself because she could still hear Bo. I know she was depressed being alone and now maybe this setup will work better. Bo can’t push Babe around and maybe will simply keep his head in the hay bale until he’s fat (which is hard to do). Where Babe and Bo are currently used to be the pony pen, and then it turned into the naughty timeout pen. Now it’s the hospital ward. Babe is recovering from her head wound and Bo is recovering from his leg injury or whatever is wrong. So the pen is not so lovingly dubbed the hospital ward until further notice. This arrangement will work out well for me. It’ll make graining Babe and Bo easier. Last night I fed Bo in the barn and had Zeke, Jim, and Rain in too. Rain snuck under the chain dividing him from Bo and stole some of Bo’s grain. I gave Rain an earful when I found out he was snitching. Ivan wants to be in the barn at all times too. He loves his grain. The weather is supposed to be fairly nice this weekend. Hopefully I can pull out the temporary fence in the mare pasture before the ground freezes. So not looking forward to winter. We have just a few more little projects to do outside before winter sets in. It’s nice to be able to tick off a few of the projects on our list. I can pass on the snow but we do need precip soon. We are still in a drought and if we don’t get anything soon, we are going to be in a world of hurt soon. We need rain and at some point, I’d even be fine with snow (just not yet). If we go into another year of drought I’m afraid of what’s going to happen to the horse market even more. But I guess that’s a topic for another discussion. I can’t believe that it’s almost December. I’ve always been at least one or two months behind. I lost half my summer and all of the fall with the G-Bear’s arrival (but it was worth it). Now it’s time to buckle down and get a few more projects done before the end of the year. I’m looking forward to 2013 and all the adventures we’ll be having.
Missing You
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I thought the blog was looking a little bare so I thought I'd go into the archives and look to see where we were at a year ago this time and so forth. I came across pictures of Bob and I started to cry. I miss that loveable guy so much! These pictures were taken the day before we had to put him down. He was our first draft horse and boy was that an experience. He taught me so much, as each horse at Borderlands has.
The more I look at these pictures, the more I miss him. I wish everyone would be given a chance to retire. Bob lucked out that we were able to give him a few years of leisure before we had to say goodbye. This is exactly why I want to fundraise and be able to provide deserving horses a place to retire. They work hard all their lives and now need to be pampered and know that their final days will be filled with food, friendship, and love.
I miss you my sweet Bob. The place has never been the same. I need to go now before I can't stop crying.



The more I look at these pictures, the more I miss him. I wish everyone would be given a chance to retire. Bob lucked out that we were able to give him a few years of leisure before we had to say goodbye. This is exactly why I want to fundraise and be able to provide deserving horses a place to retire. They work hard all their lives and now need to be pampered and know that their final days will be filled with food, friendship, and love.
I miss you my sweet Bob. The place has never been the same. I need to go now before I can't stop crying.
28 Kasım 2012 Çarşamba
I don't want to be a shit-disturber, but really.....
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So......I have been struggling with something. I work for the Government of Canada. We have a policy that says that we are not to book meetings or do business with places that are inaccessible. Yet the department I work in consistently books some meetings (mostly for social reasons such as retirement or going away parties) at a nearby venue...an air force mess hall...that is completely inaccessible. Stairs to get in, and more stairs once you get in. I can't tell you the number of times over the years in which I have declined invitations to one event or another at this location, and explained why I cannot attend. Recently, I learned that a colleague had booked a work-related meeting at this venue. I thought, "I have to do, or say, something". I know that these incidents are never intentional. And the people booking the meetings probably never stop to think about what they are doing, and the attitudes they are reinforcing. They probably think, if they stop to think, well no-one coming to the meeting is disabled, so it's not really an issue. And I wonder how they would react if the same venue had a sign outside that said, "blacks not welcome", or "women not allowed", or "no Jews". Because a venue that is not accessible is saying that people like me are not welcome, that we are not valued, that we are not part of the community.
So I am going to raise this issue at our next management meeting. And I hope that my colleagues will agree that if someone discriminates against one of us, they discriminate against all of us. And maybe, if this venue loses a regular clientele, they will do something about their lack of access.
So I am going to raise this issue at our next management meeting. And I hope that my colleagues will agree that if someone discriminates against one of us, they discriminate against all of us. And maybe, if this venue loses a regular clientele, they will do something about their lack of access.
I didn't miss this funk!
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Some women may get PMS, but I get MS - not to be confuse with the disease MS. I have to tell you. I did not miss the hormonal upheaval the last 7 weeks - at all. I guess some women get hormonal with menopause, but so far... knock on wood, not me. Hot flashes for a bit there, yes, but no hormonal craziness.
So yesterday and today when I had no reason to be a grouchy, weepy woman, I was. I hate that!' And I hate knowing why I feel the way I do, but not being able to change how I feel even with knowing it's hormones and not 'real'.
In a way, it kind of reminds me of the movie The Matrix (which we just saw last week for the first time). I don't know how exactly, but these people are living lives they think are real, but aren't. So, these are feelings that feel real, but they are not - it's hormones making me wacky!
I should be back to normal tomorrow - I hope! Please! And because of it. I don't even want to write in my blog. I just feel like "Whatever".
So yesterday and today when I had no reason to be a grouchy, weepy woman, I was. I hate that!' And I hate knowing why I feel the way I do, but not being able to change how I feel even with knowing it's hormones and not 'real'.
In a way, it kind of reminds me of the movie The Matrix (which we just saw last week for the first time). I don't know how exactly, but these people are living lives they think are real, but aren't. So, these are feelings that feel real, but they are not - it's hormones making me wacky!
I should be back to normal tomorrow - I hope! Please! And because of it. I don't even want to write in my blog. I just feel like "Whatever".
Bigger breakfast - I'm less hungry later
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Interestingly, this didn't used to be this way. When I used to eat a big breakfast, I was still hungry at my regular times, but it seems something has changed.
The last three mornings, I ate my usual protein bar, but also a part of a peanut butter sandwich (leftovers from my son as the bread I made last was HUGE). Don't believe me, take a look:


That is some seriously TALLLLLL bread. I tend to make whole wheat breads the most and they don't rise as nicely, so I think my technique of mixing dough has gotten too good as now my white breads are enormous!
Anyway, I ate a bit of his PBJ and the result was that I was less hungry. Like a lot less hungry. I ate about 150 calories extra in the morning and that saved me from eating about 300-400 calories before lunch. So, both yesterday and today, I was finally able to eat a bit under 1500 calories for the day and it wasn't a struggle.
That was Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Let's see how it goes with the week. Tomorrow will be easier as I have a blood draw and since the form didn't say if I should fast or not, I'll fast just to be sure. I won't be able to eat anything until about 10 am (or so).
And you know I'm looking forward to a blood draw, right?
The last three mornings, I ate my usual protein bar, but also a part of a peanut butter sandwich (leftovers from my son as the bread I made last was HUGE). Don't believe me, take a look:


That is some seriously TALLLLLL bread. I tend to make whole wheat breads the most and they don't rise as nicely, so I think my technique of mixing dough has gotten too good as now my white breads are enormous!
Anyway, I ate a bit of his PBJ and the result was that I was less hungry. Like a lot less hungry. I ate about 150 calories extra in the morning and that saved me from eating about 300-400 calories before lunch. So, both yesterday and today, I was finally able to eat a bit under 1500 calories for the day and it wasn't a struggle.
That was Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Let's see how it goes with the week. Tomorrow will be easier as I have a blood draw and since the form didn't say if I should fast or not, I'll fast just to be sure. I won't be able to eat anything until about 10 am (or so).
And you know I'm looking forward to a blood draw, right?
If money weren't an issue, would I get surgery?
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I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.
But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.
I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.
And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.
On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!
I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.
But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.
I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.
And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.
On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!
I'm in for it now - working with a personal trainer
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I did an interview today with one of the people in charge of the personal trainers with the organization I work for and for where I go to the gyms. I had no idea there was so much you get when you hire a personal trainer.
So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.
I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!
When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!
I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.
And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.
I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.
2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."
And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.
Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.
Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)
All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.
So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.
I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!
When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!
I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.
And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.
I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.
2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."
And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.
Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.
Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)
All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.
27 Kasım 2012 Salı
What's the worst that could happen?
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My father has a motto: "What's the worst that could happen?" In college my friends decided that the worst possible scenario should always end with "And then you can never have sex again!" which requires quite a bit of creative thinking. And although it can be a little annoying when my dad says it, I find it a useful exercise to hypothesize about all the horrible situations that could happen and how I could handle them. (In fact my father and I did it just this morning when I found out that the building I live in is foreclosing and we decided that the worst would be if I had to move back in with them and commute 2.5 hours to school which would be logistically impossible because I don't have a car and I rarely leave the academic buildings to begin with...and that would most definitely result in the situation that my college friends foretold)
Anyway, L and A and I were all set to leave the ecovillage and head on to the beach (!!!). We had called a taxi to come at 7AM, figured out the bus and ferry schedule and gotten all packed. The taxi showed up! On time! And despite my bruised little bottom the ride was not too horrific. The taxi driver and I spoke briefly about the semantics of the words parque, plaza and cancha...after he corrected me several times when I told him to drop us off in the central plaza. (Evidently their soccer fields are called plazas, their plazas are called parks, and their stadia called canchas...they also give all directions using meters instead of blocks "de la esquina 500 metros" which made me feel like I had to triangulate everything or carry a surveyors tape).
We arrived at the parque and the girls ran for breakfast while I again guarded the bags and verified the bus schedule....we were an hour early. As I sat, I noticed that some buses arrived with standing room only which worried me because we had a lot of gear and I didn't want to stand for 2 hours. So we got on line early and got seats and set out....on the slowest and hottest bus known to man. About a half an hour out of town the bust stopped for the gazillionth time, but this time people were muttering "Puntarenas, puntarenas directo, hay que bajarse, Puntarenas." A quick survey revealed that the bus behind us was going directly to Puntarenas (our intermediate destination) so we quickly got our stuff and switched buses. I actually thanked my lucky stars because if we were in Bolivia people would have silently debarked just knowing that the other bus was better and having no need to state it to the hot and frustrated tourists. Although equally oven-like the new bus was indeed better, less crowded and much faster....and thus we arrived at noon to Puntarenas described by my trusty rough guide as the hottest place in all Costa Rica, fading and wilting in the sun. I had a general idea that the next ferry to Nicoya Peninsula (yet another intermediate destination) left in two hours but I was hoping that there might be an earlier boat so we rushed into a taxi to the other end of town. No luck. A two hour wait. We chilled in a lovely gulf-side restaurant in perhaps the only town in Costa Rica where it is not recommended that you drink the water. A declined to take this advice citing the fact that she's Indian.
I am a nervous traveler and one of my quirks, besides needing to be fed at regular intervals, is being early. When I get to the airport I like to go directly through security and to the gate and then go to eat or pee or whatever. The same with buses or ferries or any mode of transportation. I am irrationally afraid of being left behind. (This phobia is in the same category as being afraid of being locked in the bathroom. Both situations have happened to me numerous times...sometimes with one causing the other.) So even though we could see the ferry from the restaurant and knew that it wouldn't leave for a half hour I was still nervous because we weren't actually on it yet.
But we didn't miss the ferry and not one of my numerous forays to the bathroom resulted in being trapped. It was at this point that I realized how ridiculously bad I smelled, which A had said was her travel quirk. Besides also needing to know where she would be eating next, she detested smelly people. L declined to let us in on her weakness but I suspect it's control. We quickly deduced that she is a youngest child and must always get her way. Luckily A and I are middle children and are capable of compromise or alternatively joining forces to get our way. The ferry was actually quite nice, although slow like molasses, and we arrived at Paquera to be shepherded into a waiting bus. The ticket taker was the least pura-vida Tico we met the entire trip and he was in such a hurry that we finally just threw some money at him and got on the bus. We had to stand.
Even standing wasn't too too horrific. At least we were in the front where there was a breeze. And hanging on for dear life builds arm muscles. So at approximately 7PM we arrived at Montezuma our final beach-front destination. Hooray! I walked up to the hotel and the man at the desk opened with (in Spanish) "You're the three girls who reserved yesterday. Please don't yell at me."
He had given away our room! Despite his request, I started to yell (just a bit). "What do you mean you gave away our room? I reserved with a credit card! Why didn't anyone verify it on the phone! Are there any more rooms? Are any other hotels free? Are you fucking with me?" At this point, my brain busted and my Spanish completely failed me so L took up the charge, "Can we call your manager? Will you pay for the taxi to another hotel? You have the responsibility to make the customer satisfied! You can't just give away rooms!" This man was exasperatingly smug and just sat there as we fumed.
We calmed down a bit while talking to a shirtless American tourist named Michael (Michael was a good distraction but A said he wasn't suitable because he didn't have six-pack abs just a four pack and I said he wasn't suitable because he was an idiot.) and the receptionist eventually found another hotel for us (far far outside of town). He was not willing to pay for the taxi or the extra cost for the other hotel and he declined to call the manager saying that she would only yell at him and at some point he made some comment to the effect of "At least you guys speak Spanish" which caused another round of yelling and fuming.
We left our bags and went to dinner where we took photos of our comic distress and decided to construct an alternative narrative of our day...something about a yacht and catching seagulls with our bare hands and enjoying cocktails at sunset. We finally arrived at our new hotel; L remained exasperatingly optimistic and went night-swimming while A criticized everything about it before going to bed. I bridged the gap by criticizing before going to check out the beach.
Next up: socialism at its frustrating-ist and our own private beach
Anyway, L and A and I were all set to leave the ecovillage and head on to the beach (!!!). We had called a taxi to come at 7AM, figured out the bus and ferry schedule and gotten all packed. The taxi showed up! On time! And despite my bruised little bottom the ride was not too horrific. The taxi driver and I spoke briefly about the semantics of the words parque, plaza and cancha...after he corrected me several times when I told him to drop us off in the central plaza. (Evidently their soccer fields are called plazas, their plazas are called parks, and their stadia called canchas...they also give all directions using meters instead of blocks "de la esquina 500 metros" which made me feel like I had to triangulate everything or carry a surveyors tape).
We arrived at the parque and the girls ran for breakfast while I again guarded the bags and verified the bus schedule....we were an hour early. As I sat, I noticed that some buses arrived with standing room only which worried me because we had a lot of gear and I didn't want to stand for 2 hours. So we got on line early and got seats and set out....on the slowest and hottest bus known to man. About a half an hour out of town the bust stopped for the gazillionth time, but this time people were muttering "Puntarenas, puntarenas directo, hay que bajarse, Puntarenas." A quick survey revealed that the bus behind us was going directly to Puntarenas (our intermediate destination) so we quickly got our stuff and switched buses. I actually thanked my lucky stars because if we were in Bolivia people would have silently debarked just knowing that the other bus was better and having no need to state it to the hot and frustrated tourists. Although equally oven-like the new bus was indeed better, less crowded and much faster....and thus we arrived at noon to Puntarenas described by my trusty rough guide as the hottest place in all Costa Rica, fading and wilting in the sun. I had a general idea that the next ferry to Nicoya Peninsula (yet another intermediate destination) left in two hours but I was hoping that there might be an earlier boat so we rushed into a taxi to the other end of town. No luck. A two hour wait. We chilled in a lovely gulf-side restaurant in perhaps the only town in Costa Rica where it is not recommended that you drink the water. A declined to take this advice citing the fact that she's Indian.
I am a nervous traveler and one of my quirks, besides needing to be fed at regular intervals, is being early. When I get to the airport I like to go directly through security and to the gate and then go to eat or pee or whatever. The same with buses or ferries or any mode of transportation. I am irrationally afraid of being left behind. (This phobia is in the same category as being afraid of being locked in the bathroom. Both situations have happened to me numerous times...sometimes with one causing the other.) So even though we could see the ferry from the restaurant and knew that it wouldn't leave for a half hour I was still nervous because we weren't actually on it yet.
But we didn't miss the ferry and not one of my numerous forays to the bathroom resulted in being trapped. It was at this point that I realized how ridiculously bad I smelled, which A had said was her travel quirk. Besides also needing to know where she would be eating next, she detested smelly people. L declined to let us in on her weakness but I suspect it's control. We quickly deduced that she is a youngest child and must always get her way. Luckily A and I are middle children and are capable of compromise or alternatively joining forces to get our way. The ferry was actually quite nice, although slow like molasses, and we arrived at Paquera to be shepherded into a waiting bus. The ticket taker was the least pura-vida Tico we met the entire trip and he was in such a hurry that we finally just threw some money at him and got on the bus. We had to stand.
Even standing wasn't too too horrific. At least we were in the front where there was a breeze. And hanging on for dear life builds arm muscles. So at approximately 7PM we arrived at Montezuma our final beach-front destination. Hooray! I walked up to the hotel and the man at the desk opened with (in Spanish) "You're the three girls who reserved yesterday. Please don't yell at me."
He had given away our room! Despite his request, I started to yell (just a bit). "What do you mean you gave away our room? I reserved with a credit card! Why didn't anyone verify it on the phone! Are there any more rooms? Are any other hotels free? Are you fucking with me?" At this point, my brain busted and my Spanish completely failed me so L took up the charge, "Can we call your manager? Will you pay for the taxi to another hotel? You have the responsibility to make the customer satisfied! You can't just give away rooms!" This man was exasperatingly smug and just sat there as we fumed.
We calmed down a bit while talking to a shirtless American tourist named Michael (Michael was a good distraction but A said he wasn't suitable because he didn't have six-pack abs just a four pack and I said he wasn't suitable because he was an idiot.) and the receptionist eventually found another hotel for us (far far outside of town). He was not willing to pay for the taxi or the extra cost for the other hotel and he declined to call the manager saying that she would only yell at him and at some point he made some comment to the effect of "At least you guys speak Spanish" which caused another round of yelling and fuming.
We left our bags and went to dinner where we took photos of our comic distress and decided to construct an alternative narrative of our day...something about a yacht and catching seagulls with our bare hands and enjoying cocktails at sunset. We finally arrived at our new hotel; L remained exasperatingly optimistic and went night-swimming while A criticized everything about it before going to bed. I bridged the gap by criticizing before going to check out the beach.
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| The girls set out on a three hour cruise, a three hour cruise |
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| They are stranded on an island |
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| The girls despair |
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| But then with extreme facial expressions they realize their skill at catching their own food! |
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| Also somehow they can do cocktails |
Next up: socialism at its frustrating-ist and our own private beach
I didn't miss this funk!
To contact us Click HERE
Some women may get PMS, but I get MS - not to be confuse with the disease MS. I have to tell you. I did not miss the hormonal upheaval the last 7 weeks - at all. I guess some women get hormonal with menopause, but so far... knock on wood, not me. Hot flashes for a bit there, yes, but no hormonal craziness.
So yesterday and today when I had no reason to be a grouchy, weepy woman, I was. I hate that!' And I hate knowing why I feel the way I do, but not being able to change how I feel even with knowing it's hormones and not 'real'.
In a way, it kind of reminds me of the movie The Matrix (which we just saw last week for the first time). I don't know how exactly, but these people are living lives they think are real, but aren't. So, these are feelings that feel real, but they are not - it's hormones making me wacky!
I should be back to normal tomorrow - I hope! Please! And because of it. I don't even want to write in my blog. I just feel like "Whatever".
So yesterday and today when I had no reason to be a grouchy, weepy woman, I was. I hate that!' And I hate knowing why I feel the way I do, but not being able to change how I feel even with knowing it's hormones and not 'real'.
In a way, it kind of reminds me of the movie The Matrix (which we just saw last week for the first time). I don't know how exactly, but these people are living lives they think are real, but aren't. So, these are feelings that feel real, but they are not - it's hormones making me wacky!
I should be back to normal tomorrow - I hope! Please! And because of it. I don't even want to write in my blog. I just feel like "Whatever".
Bigger breakfast - I'm less hungry later
To contact us Click HERE
Interestingly, this didn't used to be this way. When I used to eat a big breakfast, I was still hungry at my regular times, but it seems something has changed.
The last three mornings, I ate my usual protein bar, but also a part of a peanut butter sandwich (leftovers from my son as the bread I made last was HUGE). Don't believe me, take a look:


That is some seriously TALLLLLL bread. I tend to make whole wheat breads the most and they don't rise as nicely, so I think my technique of mixing dough has gotten too good as now my white breads are enormous!
Anyway, I ate a bit of his PBJ and the result was that I was less hungry. Like a lot less hungry. I ate about 150 calories extra in the morning and that saved me from eating about 300-400 calories before lunch. So, both yesterday and today, I was finally able to eat a bit under 1500 calories for the day and it wasn't a struggle.
That was Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Let's see how it goes with the week. Tomorrow will be easier as I have a blood draw and since the form didn't say if I should fast or not, I'll fast just to be sure. I won't be able to eat anything until about 10 am (or so).
And you know I'm looking forward to a blood draw, right?
The last three mornings, I ate my usual protein bar, but also a part of a peanut butter sandwich (leftovers from my son as the bread I made last was HUGE). Don't believe me, take a look:


That is some seriously TALLLLLL bread. I tend to make whole wheat breads the most and they don't rise as nicely, so I think my technique of mixing dough has gotten too good as now my white breads are enormous!
Anyway, I ate a bit of his PBJ and the result was that I was less hungry. Like a lot less hungry. I ate about 150 calories extra in the morning and that saved me from eating about 300-400 calories before lunch. So, both yesterday and today, I was finally able to eat a bit under 1500 calories for the day and it wasn't a struggle.
That was Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Let's see how it goes with the week. Tomorrow will be easier as I have a blood draw and since the form didn't say if I should fast or not, I'll fast just to be sure. I won't be able to eat anything until about 10 am (or so).
And you know I'm looking forward to a blood draw, right?
If money weren't an issue, would I get surgery?
To contact us Click HERE
I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.
But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.
I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.
And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.
On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!
I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.
But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.
I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.
And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.
On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!
I'm in for it now - working with a personal trainer
To contact us Click HERE
I did an interview today with one of the people in charge of the personal trainers with the organization I work for and for where I go to the gyms. I had no idea there was so much you get when you hire a personal trainer.
So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.
I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!
When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!
I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.
And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.
I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.
2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."
And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.
Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.
Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)
All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.
So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.
I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!
When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!
I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.
And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.
I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.
2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."
And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.
Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.
Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)
All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.
26 Kasım 2012 Pazartesi
I didn't miss this funk!
To contact us Click HERE
Some women may get PMS, but I get MS - not to be confuse with the disease MS. I have to tell you. I did not miss the hormonal upheaval the last 7 weeks - at all. I guess some women get hormonal with menopause, but so far... knock on wood, not me. Hot flashes for a bit there, yes, but no hormonal craziness.
So yesterday and today when I had no reason to be a grouchy, weepy woman, I was. I hate that!' And I hate knowing why I feel the way I do, but not being able to change how I feel even with knowing it's hormones and not 'real'.
In a way, it kind of reminds me of the movie The Matrix (which we just saw last week for the first time). I don't know how exactly, but these people are living lives they think are real, but aren't. So, these are feelings that feel real, but they are not - it's hormones making me wacky!
I should be back to normal tomorrow - I hope! Please! And because of it. I don't even want to write in my blog. I just feel like "Whatever".
So yesterday and today when I had no reason to be a grouchy, weepy woman, I was. I hate that!' And I hate knowing why I feel the way I do, but not being able to change how I feel even with knowing it's hormones and not 'real'.
In a way, it kind of reminds me of the movie The Matrix (which we just saw last week for the first time). I don't know how exactly, but these people are living lives they think are real, but aren't. So, these are feelings that feel real, but they are not - it's hormones making me wacky!
I should be back to normal tomorrow - I hope! Please! And because of it. I don't even want to write in my blog. I just feel like "Whatever".
Bigger breakfast - I'm less hungry later
To contact us Click HERE
Interestingly, this didn't used to be this way. When I used to eat a big breakfast, I was still hungry at my regular times, but it seems something has changed.
The last three mornings, I ate my usual protein bar, but also a part of a peanut butter sandwich (leftovers from my son as the bread I made last was HUGE). Don't believe me, take a look:


That is some seriously TALLLLLL bread. I tend to make whole wheat breads the most and they don't rise as nicely, so I think my technique of mixing dough has gotten too good as now my white breads are enormous!
Anyway, I ate a bit of his PBJ and the result was that I was less hungry. Like a lot less hungry. I ate about 150 calories extra in the morning and that saved me from eating about 300-400 calories before lunch. So, both yesterday and today, I was finally able to eat a bit under 1500 calories for the day and it wasn't a struggle.
That was Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Let's see how it goes with the week. Tomorrow will be easier as I have a blood draw and since the form didn't say if I should fast or not, I'll fast just to be sure. I won't be able to eat anything until about 10 am (or so).
And you know I'm looking forward to a blood draw, right?
The last three mornings, I ate my usual protein bar, but also a part of a peanut butter sandwich (leftovers from my son as the bread I made last was HUGE). Don't believe me, take a look:


That is some seriously TALLLLLL bread. I tend to make whole wheat breads the most and they don't rise as nicely, so I think my technique of mixing dough has gotten too good as now my white breads are enormous!
Anyway, I ate a bit of his PBJ and the result was that I was less hungry. Like a lot less hungry. I ate about 150 calories extra in the morning and that saved me from eating about 300-400 calories before lunch. So, both yesterday and today, I was finally able to eat a bit under 1500 calories for the day and it wasn't a struggle.
That was Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Let's see how it goes with the week. Tomorrow will be easier as I have a blood draw and since the form didn't say if I should fast or not, I'll fast just to be sure. I won't be able to eat anything until about 10 am (or so).
And you know I'm looking forward to a blood draw, right?
If money weren't an issue, would I get surgery?
To contact us Click HERE
I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.
But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.
I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.
And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.
On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!
I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.
But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.
I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.
And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.
On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!
I'm in for it now - working with a personal trainer
To contact us Click HERE
I did an interview today with one of the people in charge of the personal trainers with the organization I work for and for where I go to the gyms. I had no idea there was so much you get when you hire a personal trainer.
So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.
I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!
When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!
I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.
And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.
I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.
2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."
And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.
Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.
Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)
All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.
So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.
I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!
When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!
I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.
And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.
I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.
2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."
And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.
Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.
Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)
All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.
What's the worst that could happen?
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My father has a motto: "What's the worst that could happen?" In college my friends decided that the worst possible scenario should always end with "And then you can never have sex again!" which requires quite a bit of creative thinking. And although it can be a little annoying when my dad says it, I find it a useful exercise to hypothesize about all the horrible situations that could happen and how I could handle them. (In fact my father and I did it just this morning when I found out that the building I live in is foreclosing and we decided that the worst would be if I had to move back in with them and commute 2.5 hours to school which would be logistically impossible because I don't have a car and I rarely leave the academic buildings to begin with...and that would most definitely result in the situation that my college friends foretold)
Anyway, L and A and I were all set to leave the ecovillage and head on to the beach (!!!). We had called a taxi to come at 7AM, figured out the bus and ferry schedule and gotten all packed. The taxi showed up! On time! And despite my bruised little bottom the ride was not too horrific. The taxi driver and I spoke briefly about the semantics of the words parque, plaza and cancha...after he corrected me several times when I told him to drop us off in the central plaza. (Evidently their soccer fields are called plazas, their plazas are called parks, and their stadia called canchas...they also give all directions using meters instead of blocks "de la esquina 500 metros" which made me feel like I had to triangulate everything or carry a surveyors tape).
We arrived at the parque and the girls ran for breakfast while I again guarded the bags and verified the bus schedule....we were an hour early. As I sat, I noticed that some buses arrived with standing room only which worried me because we had a lot of gear and I didn't want to stand for 2 hours. So we got on line early and got seats and set out....on the slowest and hottest bus known to man. About a half an hour out of town the bust stopped for the gazillionth time, but this time people were muttering "Puntarenas, puntarenas directo, hay que bajarse, Puntarenas." A quick survey revealed that the bus behind us was going directly to Puntarenas (our intermediate destination) so we quickly got our stuff and switched buses. I actually thanked my lucky stars because if we were in Bolivia people would have silently debarked just knowing that the other bus was better and having no need to state it to the hot and frustrated tourists. Although equally oven-like the new bus was indeed better, less crowded and much faster....and thus we arrived at noon to Puntarenas described by my trusty rough guide as the hottest place in all Costa Rica, fading and wilting in the sun. I had a general idea that the next ferry to Nicoya Peninsula (yet another intermediate destination) left in two hours but I was hoping that there might be an earlier boat so we rushed into a taxi to the other end of town. No luck. A two hour wait. We chilled in a lovely gulf-side restaurant in perhaps the only town in Costa Rica where it is not recommended that you drink the water. A declined to take this advice citing the fact that she's Indian.
I am a nervous traveler and one of my quirks, besides needing to be fed at regular intervals, is being early. When I get to the airport I like to go directly through security and to the gate and then go to eat or pee or whatever. The same with buses or ferries or any mode of transportation. I am irrationally afraid of being left behind. (This phobia is in the same category as being afraid of being locked in the bathroom. Both situations have happened to me numerous times...sometimes with one causing the other.) So even though we could see the ferry from the restaurant and knew that it wouldn't leave for a half hour I was still nervous because we weren't actually on it yet.
But we didn't miss the ferry and not one of my numerous forays to the bathroom resulted in being trapped. It was at this point that I realized how ridiculously bad I smelled, which A had said was her travel quirk. Besides also needing to know where she would be eating next, she detested smelly people. L declined to let us in on her weakness but I suspect it's control. We quickly deduced that she is a youngest child and must always get her way. Luckily A and I are middle children and are capable of compromise or alternatively joining forces to get our way. The ferry was actually quite nice, although slow like molasses, and we arrived at Paquera to be shepherded into a waiting bus. The ticket taker was the least pura-vida Tico we met the entire trip and he was in such a hurry that we finally just threw some money at him and got on the bus. We had to stand.
Even standing wasn't too too horrific. At least we were in the front where there was a breeze. And hanging on for dear life builds arm muscles. So at approximately 7PM we arrived at Montezuma our final beach-front destination. Hooray! I walked up to the hotel and the man at the desk opened with (in Spanish) "You're the three girls who reserved yesterday. Please don't yell at me."
He had given away our room! Despite his request, I started to yell (just a bit). "What do you mean you gave away our room? I reserved with a credit card! Why didn't anyone verify it on the phone! Are there any more rooms? Are any other hotels free? Are you fucking with me?" At this point, my brain busted and my Spanish completely failed me so L took up the charge, "Can we call your manager? Will you pay for the taxi to another hotel? You have the responsibility to make the customer satisfied! You can't just give away rooms!" This man was exasperatingly smug and just sat there as we fumed.
We calmed down a bit while talking to a shirtless American tourist named Michael (Michael was a good distraction but A said he wasn't suitable because he didn't have six-pack abs just a four pack and I said he wasn't suitable because he was an idiot.) and the receptionist eventually found another hotel for us (far far outside of town). He was not willing to pay for the taxi or the extra cost for the other hotel and he declined to call the manager saying that she would only yell at him and at some point he made some comment to the effect of "At least you guys speak Spanish" which caused another round of yelling and fuming.
We left our bags and went to dinner where we took photos of our comic distress and decided to construct an alternative narrative of our day...something about a yacht and catching seagulls with our bare hands and enjoying cocktails at sunset. We finally arrived at our new hotel; L remained exasperatingly optimistic and went night-swimming while A criticized everything about it before going to bed. I bridged the gap by criticizing before going to check out the beach.
Next up: socialism at its frustrating-ist and our own private beach
Anyway, L and A and I were all set to leave the ecovillage and head on to the beach (!!!). We had called a taxi to come at 7AM, figured out the bus and ferry schedule and gotten all packed. The taxi showed up! On time! And despite my bruised little bottom the ride was not too horrific. The taxi driver and I spoke briefly about the semantics of the words parque, plaza and cancha...after he corrected me several times when I told him to drop us off in the central plaza. (Evidently their soccer fields are called plazas, their plazas are called parks, and their stadia called canchas...they also give all directions using meters instead of blocks "de la esquina 500 metros" which made me feel like I had to triangulate everything or carry a surveyors tape).
We arrived at the parque and the girls ran for breakfast while I again guarded the bags and verified the bus schedule....we were an hour early. As I sat, I noticed that some buses arrived with standing room only which worried me because we had a lot of gear and I didn't want to stand for 2 hours. So we got on line early and got seats and set out....on the slowest and hottest bus known to man. About a half an hour out of town the bust stopped for the gazillionth time, but this time people were muttering "Puntarenas, puntarenas directo, hay que bajarse, Puntarenas." A quick survey revealed that the bus behind us was going directly to Puntarenas (our intermediate destination) so we quickly got our stuff and switched buses. I actually thanked my lucky stars because if we were in Bolivia people would have silently debarked just knowing that the other bus was better and having no need to state it to the hot and frustrated tourists. Although equally oven-like the new bus was indeed better, less crowded and much faster....and thus we arrived at noon to Puntarenas described by my trusty rough guide as the hottest place in all Costa Rica, fading and wilting in the sun. I had a general idea that the next ferry to Nicoya Peninsula (yet another intermediate destination) left in two hours but I was hoping that there might be an earlier boat so we rushed into a taxi to the other end of town. No luck. A two hour wait. We chilled in a lovely gulf-side restaurant in perhaps the only town in Costa Rica where it is not recommended that you drink the water. A declined to take this advice citing the fact that she's Indian.
I am a nervous traveler and one of my quirks, besides needing to be fed at regular intervals, is being early. When I get to the airport I like to go directly through security and to the gate and then go to eat or pee or whatever. The same with buses or ferries or any mode of transportation. I am irrationally afraid of being left behind. (This phobia is in the same category as being afraid of being locked in the bathroom. Both situations have happened to me numerous times...sometimes with one causing the other.) So even though we could see the ferry from the restaurant and knew that it wouldn't leave for a half hour I was still nervous because we weren't actually on it yet.
But we didn't miss the ferry and not one of my numerous forays to the bathroom resulted in being trapped. It was at this point that I realized how ridiculously bad I smelled, which A had said was her travel quirk. Besides also needing to know where she would be eating next, she detested smelly people. L declined to let us in on her weakness but I suspect it's control. We quickly deduced that she is a youngest child and must always get her way. Luckily A and I are middle children and are capable of compromise or alternatively joining forces to get our way. The ferry was actually quite nice, although slow like molasses, and we arrived at Paquera to be shepherded into a waiting bus. The ticket taker was the least pura-vida Tico we met the entire trip and he was in such a hurry that we finally just threw some money at him and got on the bus. We had to stand.
Even standing wasn't too too horrific. At least we were in the front where there was a breeze. And hanging on for dear life builds arm muscles. So at approximately 7PM we arrived at Montezuma our final beach-front destination. Hooray! I walked up to the hotel and the man at the desk opened with (in Spanish) "You're the three girls who reserved yesterday. Please don't yell at me."
He had given away our room! Despite his request, I started to yell (just a bit). "What do you mean you gave away our room? I reserved with a credit card! Why didn't anyone verify it on the phone! Are there any more rooms? Are any other hotels free? Are you fucking with me?" At this point, my brain busted and my Spanish completely failed me so L took up the charge, "Can we call your manager? Will you pay for the taxi to another hotel? You have the responsibility to make the customer satisfied! You can't just give away rooms!" This man was exasperatingly smug and just sat there as we fumed.
We calmed down a bit while talking to a shirtless American tourist named Michael (Michael was a good distraction but A said he wasn't suitable because he didn't have six-pack abs just a four pack and I said he wasn't suitable because he was an idiot.) and the receptionist eventually found another hotel for us (far far outside of town). He was not willing to pay for the taxi or the extra cost for the other hotel and he declined to call the manager saying that she would only yell at him and at some point he made some comment to the effect of "At least you guys speak Spanish" which caused another round of yelling and fuming.
We left our bags and went to dinner where we took photos of our comic distress and decided to construct an alternative narrative of our day...something about a yacht and catching seagulls with our bare hands and enjoying cocktails at sunset. We finally arrived at our new hotel; L remained exasperatingly optimistic and went night-swimming while A criticized everything about it before going to bed. I bridged the gap by criticizing before going to check out the beach.
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| The girls set out on a three hour cruise, a three hour cruise |
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| They are stranded on an island |
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| The girls despair |
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| But then with extreme facial expressions they realize their skill at catching their own food! |
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| Also somehow they can do cocktails |
Next up: socialism at its frustrating-ist and our own private beach
25 Kasım 2012 Pazar
I didn't miss this funk!
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Some women may get PMS, but I get MS - not to be confuse with the disease MS. I have to tell you. I did not miss the hormonal upheaval the last 7 weeks - at all. I guess some women get hormonal with menopause, but so far... knock on wood, not me. Hot flashes for a bit there, yes, but no hormonal craziness.
So yesterday and today when I had no reason to be a grouchy, weepy woman, I was. I hate that!' And I hate knowing why I feel the way I do, but not being able to change how I feel even with knowing it's hormones and not 'real'.
In a way, it kind of reminds me of the movie The Matrix (which we just saw last week for the first time). I don't know how exactly, but these people are living lives they think are real, but aren't. So, these are feelings that feel real, but they are not - it's hormones making me wacky!
I should be back to normal tomorrow - I hope! Please! And because of it. I don't even want to write in my blog. I just feel like "Whatever".
So yesterday and today when I had no reason to be a grouchy, weepy woman, I was. I hate that!' And I hate knowing why I feel the way I do, but not being able to change how I feel even with knowing it's hormones and not 'real'.
In a way, it kind of reminds me of the movie The Matrix (which we just saw last week for the first time). I don't know how exactly, but these people are living lives they think are real, but aren't. So, these are feelings that feel real, but they are not - it's hormones making me wacky!
I should be back to normal tomorrow - I hope! Please! And because of it. I don't even want to write in my blog. I just feel like "Whatever".
Bigger breakfast - I'm less hungry later
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Interestingly, this didn't used to be this way. When I used to eat a big breakfast, I was still hungry at my regular times, but it seems something has changed.
The last three mornings, I ate my usual protein bar, but also a part of a peanut butter sandwich (leftovers from my son as the bread I made last was HUGE). Don't believe me, take a look:


That is some seriously TALLLLLL bread. I tend to make whole wheat breads the most and they don't rise as nicely, so I think my technique of mixing dough has gotten too good as now my white breads are enormous!
Anyway, I ate a bit of his PBJ and the result was that I was less hungry. Like a lot less hungry. I ate about 150 calories extra in the morning and that saved me from eating about 300-400 calories before lunch. So, both yesterday and today, I was finally able to eat a bit under 1500 calories for the day and it wasn't a struggle.
That was Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Let's see how it goes with the week. Tomorrow will be easier as I have a blood draw and since the form didn't say if I should fast or not, I'll fast just to be sure. I won't be able to eat anything until about 10 am (or so).
And you know I'm looking forward to a blood draw, right?
The last three mornings, I ate my usual protein bar, but also a part of a peanut butter sandwich (leftovers from my son as the bread I made last was HUGE). Don't believe me, take a look:


That is some seriously TALLLLLL bread. I tend to make whole wheat breads the most and they don't rise as nicely, so I think my technique of mixing dough has gotten too good as now my white breads are enormous!
Anyway, I ate a bit of his PBJ and the result was that I was less hungry. Like a lot less hungry. I ate about 150 calories extra in the morning and that saved me from eating about 300-400 calories before lunch. So, both yesterday and today, I was finally able to eat a bit under 1500 calories for the day and it wasn't a struggle.
That was Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Let's see how it goes with the week. Tomorrow will be easier as I have a blood draw and since the form didn't say if I should fast or not, I'll fast just to be sure. I won't be able to eat anything until about 10 am (or so).
And you know I'm looking forward to a blood draw, right?
If money weren't an issue, would I get surgery?
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I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.
But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.
I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.
And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.
On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!
I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.
But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.
I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.
And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.
On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!
I'm in for it now - working with a personal trainer
To contact us Click HERE
I did an interview today with one of the people in charge of the personal trainers with the organization I work for and for where I go to the gyms. I had no idea there was so much you get when you hire a personal trainer.
So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.
I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!
When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!
I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.
And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.
I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.
2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."
And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.
Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.
Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)
All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.
So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.
I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!
When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!
I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.
And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.
I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.
2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."
And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.
Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.
Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)
All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.
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