Effects of Pool-based Exercise vs. Balneotherapy on fibromyalgia patients

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Altan L, Bingöl U, Aykaç M, Koç Z, Yurtkuran M.
Rheumatic Disease and Hydrotherapy Section, Uludağ University Medical Faculty, Atatürk Rehabilitation Center, Bursa, Turkey. lalealtan@uludag.edu.tr
Sep, 2004

OBJECTIVE:
The aim of this study was to compare pool-based exercise and balneotherapy in fibromyalgia syndrome (FMS) patients.

METHODS:
Fifty female patients diagnosed with FMS according to the American College of Rheumatism (ACR) criteria were randomly assigned to two groups: group 1 (n=25) with pool-based exercise, and in group 2 (n=25) balneotherapy was applied in the same pool without any exercise for 35 min three times a week for 12 weeks. In both groups, pre- (week 0) and post-treatment (weeks 12 and 24) evaluation was performed by one of the authors, who was blind to the patient group.
Evaluation parameters included:

• pain
• morning stiffness
• sleep
• tender points

by:

• global evaluation by the patient and the physician
• fibromyalgia impact questionnaire
• chair test
• Beck depression inventory

Statistical analysis was done on data collected from three evaluation stages.

RESULTS:
Twenty-four exercise and 22 balneotherapy patients completed the study.
Pretreatment (week 0) measurements did not show any difference between the groups.
In group 1, statistically significant improvement was observed in all parameters ( P<0.01) style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">CONCLUSION:
The results of our study showed that pool-based exercise had a longer-lasting effect on some of the FMS symptoms, but statistical analysis failed to show a significant superiority of pool-based exercise over balneotherapy without exercise. While we believe that exercise is a gold standard in FMS treatment, we also suggest in light of our results that balneotherapy is among the valid treatment options in FMS, and further research regarding the type and duration of the exercise programs is necessary.

PMID: 14508601 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

Watsu Therapy can bring relief form Fibromyalgia

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One form of fibromyalgia treatment that is being used to treat common fibromyalgia symptoms is Watsu. This form of therapy is the latest treatment for fibromyalgia and can bring relief from a variety of fibro symptoms. Watsu therapy can provide individuals with relief from fibromyalgia; but what exactly is Watsu therapy and what kind of symptoms can this fibromyalgia natural treatment help to alleviate?

What is Watsu Therapy?
How Does Watsu Therapy works?
Health Benefits of Watsu Therapy

Fibromyalgia Syndrome and Watsu Therapy
Watsu therapy can be effective in the treatment of fibromyalgia because it helps to alleviate common fibromyalgia symptoms such as widespread pain, muscle twitching and weakness, as well as promotes relaxation.
In addition to being an increasingly popular alternative fibromyalgia treatment, Watsu is also used to treat such conditions as: arthritis, post-traumatic stress disorder. It can also be used as part of post-mastectomy therapy.

read more about:

• Therapy & Bodywork for stress pain and fibromyalgia relief
• Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS)
• Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS) Study & Research
• The Healing Power Of Water
• The Healing Properties of Water

Fibromyalgia and Low Dopamine Levels

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Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is produced in several areas of the brain, including the substantia nigra and the ventral tegmental area. Dopamine is also a neurohormone released by the hypothalamus. Its main function as a hormone is to inhibit the release of prolactin from the anterior lobe of the pituitary.

Dopamine has many functions in the brain, including important roles in behavior and cognition, voluntary movement, motivation and reward, inhibition of prolactin production (involved in lactation), sleep, mood, attention, and learning.

Processing of pain
Dopamine has been demonstrated to play a role in pain processing in multiple levels of the central nervous system including the spinal cord, periaqueductal gray (PAG), thalamus, basal ganglia insular cortex and cingulate cortex. Accordingly, decreased levels of dopamine have been associated with painful symptoms that frequently occur in Parkinson's disease. Abnormalities in dopaminergic neurotransmission have also been demonstrated in painful clinical conditions, including burning mouth syndrome, fibromyalgia and restless legs syndrome.
People with fibromyalgia (FMS) and chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS or ME/CFS) generally have low dopamine levels as well. Symptoms of both conditions include both cognitive effects as well as movement and balance problems.

Low Dopamine
No neurotransmitter acts alone. They all work together in a complex web of activity that scientists are really just beginning to understand. Still, experts have been able to associate different neurotransmitter imbalances with certain conditions and symptoms and find some ways to help boost or decrease activity.
Low dopamine levels are associated with the following symptoms:

• Stiff, rigid, achy muscles
• Tremors
• Impaired fine motor skills
• Cognitive impairment
• Inability to focus attention
• Poor balance and coordination
• Strange walking pattern (gait), frequently with small steps
  

High levels of dopamine, on the other hand, are associated with addiction, euphoria, hyperstimulation, excessive focus, suspicion, and the inability to separate what is important from what isn't. If you're taking medication that increases your dopamine levels, you should let your doctor know if you have symptoms of high dopamine, which is associated with psychological side effects.
Neuroleptic (antipsychotic) drugs lower dopamine levels.

Increasing the Availability of Dopamine
Drug treatment of low dopamine levels may include stimulant therapy with Ritalin, Concerta and Methadate (all of which contain methylphenidate).
There are not a lot of research confirming that food can boost dopamine levels in your brain, and even if it can, it would take prohibitively huge amounts to have the desired effect. In spite of the lack of hard evidence, some practitioners recommend:

• Tea (black or green)
• Apples, bananas & watermelon
• Blueberry extract
• Red wine
• Beets, beans & legumes
• Chicken
• Cheese
• Eggs
• Fish
• Wheat germ

Supplements believed to help raise dopamine levels include:

• NADH
• L-Theanine (supplement form of amino acid unique to black and green tea)
• Omega-3 fatty acids, from fish oil or flax seed oil
• Rhodiola rosea

A note on tea & theanine: Studies show theanine increases both norepinephrine and dopamine while lowering glutamate levels, all of which can have a positive effect on those of us with FMS and ME/CFS. Research is mixed, however, on how theanine impacts serotonin levels. If you decide to try theanine, track your symptoms to see if serotonin-related symptoms get worse.
While it's generally safe to experiment with these kinds of foods, don't expect miracles and avoid extreme changes to your diet. Be sure to make changes slowly, and track your dietary changes and symptoms in a symptom journal to get an accurate gauge of what may be helping. You should always work with your doctor to decide what methods to try and how successful your treatments are.

Sources:

1. Amino Acids. 2008 Jan 15. [Epub ahead of print] All rights reserved. "Theanine, gamma-glutamylethylamide, a unique amino acid in tea leaves, modulates neurotransmitter concentrations in the brain striatum interstitium in conscious rats."
2. Goldstein, J. Alasbimn Journal2(7): April 2000. AJ07-5. "The Pathophysiology and Treatment of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Other Neurosomati Disorders: Cognitive Therapy in a Pill."
3. Nutritional neuroscience. 2006 Oct-Dec;9(5-6):251-8. "Dietary supplementation with blueberry extract improves survival of transplanted dopamine neurons."
4. Progress in neuro-psychopharmacology and biological psychiatry. 2008 Jul 1;32(5):1243-50. Epub 2008 Apr 7. "Resveratrol, a red wine polyphenol, protects dopaminergic neurons in MPTP-treated mice."
5. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2008 Feb;33(2):188-97. All rights reserved. "Genetic evaluation of the serotonergic system in chronic fatigue syndrome."
6. wikipedia
   

Serotonin in Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

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Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps regulate a lot of your bodily functions. Along with melatonin, serotonin is especially involved in your sleep cycle. Melatonin helps you fall asleep, while serotonin helps you wake up feeling refreshed. At least, that's what serotonin and melatonin do in people who are fortunate enough to have the right amount.
A growing pool of research suggests that people with fibromyalgia (FMS) may have low levels of serotonin. Experts are split, however, as to whether serotonin levels are high or low in people with chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS or ME/CFS). Some studies show that the problem in ME/CFS may lie in low serotonin-receptor activity, which could mean that the brain isn't using serotonin properly, even if plenty is available.

Low Serotonin
No neurotransmitter acts alone. They all work together in a complex web of activity that scientists are really just beginning to understand. Still, experts have been able to associate different neurotransmitter imbalances with certain conditions and symptoms and find some ways to help boost or decrease activity.
Serotonin activity takes place in several areas of your brain, and even elsewhere around the body (where it acts as a hormone). Those different areas of your brain use serotonin differently, and they also contain several different kids of receptors that also influence how serotonin is used.
Low serotonin levels are associated with many physical and psychological symptoms. Examples of physical symptoms include:

• Fatigue in spite of adequate rest
• Disturbed sleep
• Changes in appetite
• Hot flushes and temperature changes
• Headaches

Examples of psychological symptoms include:

• Changes in libido
• Mood disturbances
• Depression
• Irritability

When serotonin levels are extremely low, additional symptoms may include:

• Muscle cramps
• Bowel & bladder problems
• Rapid, uncontrolled thought processes
• Emotional numbness
• Emotional or behavioral outbursts
• Escape fantasies
• Memory torture (dwelling on or reliving your most traumatic experiences)
• Thoughts of harming yourself or others

Several disorders improve with medicines that increase the availability of serotonin, including depression, insomnia, restless leg syndrome, irritable bowel syndrome, headaches, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anorexia, bulimia, social anxiety, phobias, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD/ADHD), post-traumatic stress disorder, and alcoholism.

High Serotonin Levels & Serotonin Syndrome
Naturally occurring high levels of serotonin aren't associated with many symptoms. However, taking too much of a drug that raises serotonin levels can cause a dangerous condition called serotonin syndrome. If you suspect serotonin syndrome, you should get emergency medical help as soon as possible.
Symptoms of serotonin syndrome include:

• Confusion
• Agitation
• Profuse sweating
• High fever
• Muscle rigidity
• Fluctuating blood pressure

With treatment, serotonin syndrome typically resolves within a few days. In rare cases, it can be fatal.

Increasing the Availability of Serotonin
Several prescription drugs on the market increase the amount of serotonin that's available to your brain. In people with FMS and ME/CFS, the most common ones are selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as Prozac (fluoxetine), Paxil (paroxetine) and Zoloft (sertraline); or serotonin norepinephrine re-uptake inhibitors (SNRIs) such as Cymbalta (duloxetine) and Savella (milnacipran), which are two of only three FDA-approved fibromyalgia treatments.

If you prefer natural treatments, several dietary supplements have been linked to higher available levels of serotonin. They include:

• SAM-e
• 5-HTP
• St. John's Wort
• Rhodiola rosea

The simplest way to boost serotonin levels is by getting more sunlight.
There are not a lot of research confirming that food can boost serotonin levels in your brain, and it could take prohibitively huge amounts to have the desired effect. Some that are commonly believed to help include:

• Carbohydrate-rich foods, especially before bed (for an energy boost during the day, add protein)
• Complex carbohydrates, including grains, beans and many starchy foods
• Watermelon
• Dark chocolate (only in small amounts)

By Adrienne Dellwo, January 26, 2009

Sources:

1. Amino Acids. 2008 Jan 15. [Epub ahead of print] All rights reserved. "Theanine, gamma-glutamylethylamide, a unique amino acid in tea leaves, modulates neurotransmitter concentrations in the brain striatum interstitium in conscious rats."
2. Goldstein, J. Alasbimn Journal2(7): April 2000. AJ07-5. "The Pathophysiology and Treatment of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Other Neurosomati Disorders: Cognitive Therapy in a Pill."
3. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2008 Feb;33(2):188-97. All rights reserved. "Genetic evaluation of the serotonergic system in chronic fatigue syndrome."
4. 2007 The Trustees of Columbia University. All rights reserved. "Serotonin and foods?"

What is hydrotherapy?

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The benefits of “water healing,” or hydrotherapy have been recognized for thousands of years.
Water healing is one of the oldest, cheapest and safest methods for treating many common ailments. We know from personal experience that water is not just for cleansing, but for making us feel better. When you settle into that tub of hot water, after a strenuous day, you know you’ll feel much better when you’re done, for hot water relieves fatigue and prevents stiffness.

Water healing at home couldn’t be simpler. Walk-in baths are good for whole body treatments. In the whole body treatment, the water has to come to shoulder level. You will also be treating your bottom, hips, and lower abdomen. Then there is the foot bath, the vapor bath, and various others concentrating on specific parts of the body. Adding various healing herbs to the water increases the value of the bath.

The Full Bath should be about 90 to 95F (32 to 35C) and shoulder deep. A warm bath is soothing to the nerves and helpful for bladder and urinary problems, mild colds, and low fevers. Adding herbs helps to soften and moisturize, and can stimulate or relax. The hot bath should last at least 20 minutes.

Hydrotherapy is especially beneficial for ailments affecting the abdomen and the reproductive system, inflammations, pelvic congestion, cramps, hemorrhoids, menstrual problems, and kidney and intestinal pains.

For tired feet, a warm Hydrotherapy foot-bath is recommended. While an alternating hot and cold foot-bath is said to promote circulation in the legs, help varicose veins, insomnia, headache and high blood pressure.

Remember that the application of heat is soothing, easing muscle tension and relieving pain. Heat also improves circulation by causing blood vessels to dilate. Cold can either be stimulating or soothing.

Water healing is helpful in maintaining metabolic function, and in making us feel much better, and is easily accomplished right in our own homes.

You can use baths to either immerse the entire body or simply the affected body part. Hot full-immersion baths can help with arthritic discomfort and conditions where muscles are in painful spasm, such as fibromyalgia. For a neutral (or tepid) bath the temperature should be neither too hot nor too cold. These are mainly used for relaxation purposes and to treat stress-related ailments such as insomnia, anxiety, and nervous exhaustion. Cool baths can relieve irritation and itching caused by hives or other skin disorders.

Was led to a cool nerd fitness site

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As the premiere of the new Hobbit movie is fast approaching (I cannot wait to go see it!), interest in all things Tolkien I'm sure will start to pick up (again). I love, love, love the books and I love, even more, the movies. Is that a terrible thing to say? No... I'm a visual person, so I like seeing things and Peter Jackson's vision of the world of Hobbits is much like I imagined them myself, even better.
I got my first introduction to the Hobbit as a kid when there was the  animated movie. I think I saw it (and the follow up movie) a few times after that. One of my favorite songs and one I used to sing a lot to myself was this one: Where there's a whip, there's a way! (Rankin/Bass were awesome!) 
When I was a teen when we had to read the book in 7th grade. I had just moved to Cedar Falls from Waterloo, Iowa and the English class was in the middle of reading Tolkien's, The Hobbit. It was not difficult to catch up! At the end of the reading of this book, we watched the movie and I had a new appreciation for the movie because of the book. Sure, it skips a lot, but I knew more and watching the movie helped me relive the book as it came to life.
I tried reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy several times, but I never could get into it. For one reason or another, I would get interrupted for a week or so and when I would try to jump back into the first book of the trilogy, The Fellowship of the Ring, I would find myself lost. There were so many characters and names and places that I couldn't keep them straight in my head. So, I would have to start the book again, and again. I finally read all three books shortly before the Jackson movie trilogy was released. 
The books are very visual. The story is rich. I mean, really, Tolkien created a whole world, the Middle Earth with complete languages! I wanted to go there. I wanted to live in the Shire! Seeing the movies made the books come alive. And the Shire, the simple beauty of nature... aw... I was in heaven and then then magic of Rivendell, and then the ugliness of Mordor, where you could feel the oppression  Then there was all the amazing, breathtaking stops in between. Jackson did a brilliant job with the cinemotography for these movies and the images are in my head forever.
So, this piqued my interest as a Middle Earth fan and as a walker - walking your way through the books! How cool is that! This was linked in a weigh loss forum, but it's for anyone. You can walk and then when you come back in and log your miles you can see where you have walked to. Check it out at: Eowyn challenge walk. Look around the site. You can just read where you have been, visual where you have been, what's happening in the books during the time you would have walked there if you were with Frodo (or with Bilbo if you follow the Hobbit book path). It's a lot of walking. It would take most of us well over a year to complete it. But what fun! 
There's a forum, challenges, places to journal your walks, etc. I'm psyched! It's just another tool to make this fitness thing more fun and exercise should be fun!
 

Is it possible to already be feeling the lack of sun?

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The last few days I've really felt myself dragging. I've been going to sleep and sleeping well and going to bed earlier, but it's like there's a fog of sleepiness all around me. How is it possible? Or is it already the seasonal affect disorder stuff kicking in. It's only mid September!

I even spent several hours outside today. While I was outside walking around, I felt great. As soon as I came in, the funk came back. Huh? I don't get it.

I'm trying to make myself GO, but I am having serious energy issues. I know it can't be my thyroid being low as it was just checked and it's perfect. Well, I feel about as sluggish as I did when my thyroid was bad. Well, not quite true... back then I needed a nap nearly daily and I didn't sleep well at night. Now I never take naps and most nights I sleep great. Not sure what to think about all that.

Other than that, I got from the library some books on weight lifting. I started reading them last night. Good stuff! For now for weight lifting I've been doing a class, but if I do this 8 weeks challenge at the gym, I'll probably be doing some weight work outside of classes and I want to be sure I'm doing things correctly and not outdated stuff. Even in the years that the first of these books were published (2003), things have changed and the new book has updates. These books are: The New Rules for Lifting Weights. (the 2003 version) and there's several more. The most recent book is The New Rules for Life and I guess they have another one coming out in December. This was my night time reading last night! One night it's cookbooks, the next night it's weightlifting. Makes sense, right?

But... I'm struggling with energy. My eating is OK, but boy is my energy LOW. Hope I'm not getting sick! That didn't even enter my mind as I'm so rarely sick, but perhaps?

Going to the dentist today

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And I'm a bit nervous. I was blessed with naturally straight teeth, but not the strongest teeth in the world. Add to that I don't feel dental pain until it's root canal time.

I've had some pretty horrendous trips to the dentist which led to an almost phobia. The last couple trips have been better, but I still wait until the last minute and have to listen to lots of harping from my husband before I get in to see the dentist. Which, is stupid as it just makes whatever problem I have worse.

And I know I have teeth issues. I have a tooth that is broken - in the back and there is no tooth above it, so that will probably have to be pulled. Then, one of the teeth I have had a root canal and a crown, I think, isn't in very good condition any more and he might want to start talking to me about getting an implant. Egad... that's just giving me the heebie jeebies. And, two more teeth it's difficult to floss between, which probably means decay between the teeth, so at the least, fillings and hopefully not more.

Sounds like fun, huh? My teen has to go too. He's had better luck with the dentist. Let's see if it still holds true as he doesn't have the best brushing habits.

I'm sure today will just be x-rays and getting a plan, but the discovery will not be fun especially when I know there's stuff going on in my mouth. Argh!

As I've said to my husband about my teeth before, "I'm too smart to be so stupid about going to the dentist", but having a phobia is not rational. Having several treatments where the numbing didn't work will do that to you.

I would say wish me luck, but I guess the best I can hope for is wish me as little treatment as possible - like maybe it's just 4 teeth versus 8!

If money weren't an issue, would I get surgery?

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I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.

But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.

I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.

And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.

On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!

I'm in for it now - working with a personal trainer

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I did an interview today with one of the people in charge of the personal trainers with the organization I work for and for where I go to the gyms. I had no idea there was so much you get when you hire a personal trainer.

So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.

I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!

When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!

I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.

And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.

I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.

2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."

And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.

Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.

Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)

All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.

Got my strength back!

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Today at BodyPump, I decided that I was going to push myself really hard and see where it would take me. Not that I haven't been pushing myself, as I have been - hard, every time, but I had extra motivation this time. I would be able to get to the weights I had on the bar as I did when I stopped in April due to an injury AND for some body parts, I would be even higher.

BodyPump isn't exactly heavy lifting or light lifting. It's kind of in between. I know now the research is all on lifting heavy, but for now, at least, I know I wouldn't lift weights if it weren't in a class, so that's what I do - I do the class. Maybe, after I read these books "New Rules for Lifting" I will switch it up and start doing it differently, but I hope my husband and I will keep doing it together as it's something that helps both of us. What I do know - lifting what I do now is still better than not lifting at all.

Anyway, back in April this is where I was with weights for each track/body part:

Warm-up: 3.5 kg on each end of the bar.
Squats: 10 kg on each end of the bar.
Chest: 5 kg on each end of the bar.
Back: 7.5 kg on each end of the bar.
Triceps: 2.5 kg for kickbacks, almost all the triceps dips, half the triceps push-ups, 5 kg for overhead
Lunges: 3.5 kg on each end of the bar.
Biceps: 3.5 kg on each end of the bar.
Shoulders: 1kg on each end of the bar, 4 lbs for rotator presses,  2 push-ups on the toes, rest on knees
Abs: all crunches, all planks and side planks.

This is more than most people have in the class for most things. I had the heaviest for women for squats, back and average for chest, lunges, biceps, shoulders and abs, weaker for triceps.

When I went back on August 15th or so, I had to drop some things way back and, I was way, way sore after that for days.  This is where I started back up a month ago:


Warm-up: 2.5 kg on each end of the bar.
Squats: 5 kg on each end of the bar.
Chest: 2.5 kg on each end of the bar.
Back: 5 kg on each end of the bar.
Triceps:  4 lbs for kickbacks, almost all the triceps dips, half the triceps push-ups, 5 kg for overhead
Lunges: 2.5 kg on each end of the bar.
Biceps: 2.5 kg on each end of the bar.
Shoulders: 1kg on each end of the bar, 3 lbs for rotator presses, all push-ups on knees
Abs: all crunches, half the planks on the knees.

Today, one month into getting back into doing BodyPump twice a week, with pushing myself hard each and every time. I'm now here:


Warm-up: 3.5 kg on each end of the bar.
Squats: 10 kg on each end of the bar.
Chest: 5 kg on each end of the bar.
Back: 8.5 kg on each end of the bar.
Triceps: 2.5 kg for kickbacks, all the triceps dips, all the triceps push-ups, 5 kg for overhead
Lunges: 4.5 kg on each end of the bar.
Biceps: 4 kg on each end of the bar.
Shoulders: 2.5 kg on each end of the bar, 4 lbs for rotator presses, 4 push-ups on the toes, rest on knees
Abs: all crunches, all planks on toes and half the side planks.

The ONLY thing I'm not back to where I was are the abs and I think I wasn't able to do it today as I was full out of steam because I upped my weights on: squats, chest, triceps, lunges, biceps and shoulders today. Of course, all of that needs core stability, so my abs were just DONE by the end.

For most things, I only went up half a kilogram per side from last time. I wasn't sore after last week, so,I decided to see if I could do a bit more and I could - without missing any reps either. I was grunting pretty loud at the end, especially on the shoulder track, but I finished it!!!

My guess is that I was able to do such a rapid increase because I didn't really lose the strength over the 4 months I wasn't doing bodypump. I wasn't inactive for those 4 months. I was doing landscaping at home! I manually ripped up sod, dug up/turned over all the dirt for a 200 square foot garden, laid a stone pathway, applied 12 cubic yards of mulch all over the yard, planted a bazillion perennials and annuals, removed a half ton of sand off the driveway and hauled ceramic pots all over the yard. My upper body actually, got stronger, especially my triceps, for some reason.

It just felt great to day - after feeling soooooo bad when we started back up, I was like, "really, I lost so much?" I guess not. Muscle memory? or what? I don't know, but I'm feeling stronger!

So proud of myself - I resisted (mostly) cookie dough!

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Saturday night my younger son and I made cookies for Sunday school the next day. I finally got a chance to use my new Sesame Street cookie cutters I got from Williams Sonoma. Watch the video on cute ways to use these cutters. So versatile. We decided to make sandwich cookies - sugar cookies sandwiched with Ganache. I also did a review for the product, so you can see some of the finished cookies in the review.

Anyway, you know my track record with cookies, right? Well, we made 130 cookies (makes 65 sandwich cookies). I ate an equivalent of one sugar cookie. That's it. And I made room in my daily calories for that one cookie too. I was so proud of myself!

Next day I had one small cookie and also counted that in my calorie allotment and didn't go over. I have to try the finished product, right? And since then I haven't touched them. There's two left as of this morning (all but twelve were eaten at platform).

And, my efforts are beginning to pay off. My size 10 shorts which were feeling tight are feeling less snug. Still not nearly as loose as they were, as I was heading into size 8, but they are no longer tight. And this morning the scale finally moved downwards a bit. Finally! I have a feeling it will slide down a bit more this week - first size, then scale is typical for me.

I've started to read some weight lifting books. I'm thinking of transitioning out of the weight lifting class and doing it on my own. Well, not really on my own, with my husband, but out of the class setting. I need to find times that work better with my schedule. It's really tight now with the two jobs, 3 different sessions of speech therapy my younger son has and other school and meetings, etc.  Plus, at some point, the class won't be enough and I'll need to do more.

It was a good weekend for me. It was a three day weekend here as the kids had the Jewish holiday off. My younger son and I went to the Natural History Museum in DC. My older son slept until 4 pm!

Stats for 9/18/12:

Highest weight: 275  Now: 178.4

Gearing up for the change at the gym

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I've come to the conclusion that the thing I need to do to get the rest of this weight off and to up my metabolism is to increase strength training. This goes along with the joining the Rock Your Jeans event too. I just need to up what I do for exercise in the weight room and rely less on classes.

I'm not done with the books I want to read to educate myself, but I'm about halfway through the New Rules of Lifting for Women. I just finished the nutrition part.

I was happy to see that they don't condemn diet soda and caffeine - I have these things in moderation, but I do enjoy them. They also agree that alcohol is a waste of calories and hinder weight loss - already drew that conclusion too. The emphasize eating nuts and the fats that I already eat - check, and they recommend even the balance of food I eat - 40-30-30 - approximately.  I was tickled to even see that they recommend the protein bars (Atkins Advantage- why? They are high protein and low carbs/sugar) I use and the whey powder I use. Yay!  So, food-wise I'm right on track with recommended eating even with their nutritionist. But... I eat less calories than the recommend.

This is where it gets hard to trust the experts. According to their calculations, on non-workout days I should eat 1639 calories for weight maintenance. This, actually, seems pretty accurate for my age, weight, activity level. For work-out days, they recommend eating 1913 calories for weight maintenance.

For the beginning, they want everyone to eat at the weight maintenance range - one month. After that one month assess. Are the pants getting looser? Tighter? Scale going up? Down? if things are going in the wrong direction, then it's recommended to lower calories, but otherwise stay the same.

What I've been doing is eating at or around 1550 calories everyday (there is always a 100-150 range) even on workout days. I don't give my body a protein shake after working out - which is where they want you to get the extra calories on workout days.

I'm nervous about changing what I'm doing, but I also understand you need to feed your body to gain muscle and that's what I want -to gain more muscle to boost my metabolism.

I'll keep reading and see more about the program, but I'm getting kind of excited about changing things up!

Oh, and the scale is my friend today - down two pounds from yesterday!

Highest weight: 275  Now: 176.4

If money weren't an issue, would I get surgery?

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I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.

But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.

I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.

And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.

On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!

I'm in for it now - working with a personal trainer

To contact us Click HERE
I did an interview today with one of the people in charge of the personal trainers with the organization I work for and for where I go to the gyms. I had no idea there was so much you get when you hire a personal trainer.

So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.

I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!

When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!

I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.

And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.

I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.

2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."

And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.

Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.

Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)

All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.

Inspired someone and they gave me a feel good too

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Today when I was walking back from dropping my son off from school, I passed by a couple of walkers as I walk fast naturally now. I lived in a planned community that has a lot of pathways for walking and we live just off of one of the 3 lakes for the city, so there are always a lot of walkers. 

One of the people I passed by was an Indian woman, about 50 years old or so. While I was passing her, she asked me a question.  She asked, "Excuse me, can you tell me (something). I can tell you are a fast walker. Can you lose weight walking?" 

I stop and I tell her that I've lost about 100 pounds and most of it was done by walking. She looked so shocked she said, "Really? Oh my God. You look so thin. I cannot believe you used to be so fat. I'm sorry I don't mean to sound rude, but I am fat, but you look so thin!" I laughed and said thanks, and told her that yes, I used to weigh 275 pounds. 

She looked shocked again. And said, "You did it all by walking?" I told that much of it was walking, but that I also go to the gym for classes and lift weights. I told her that walking is great exercise even for me now. I just walk faster, but yes walking was a big part of the losing weight.

Then she looked puzzled and asked, " Excuse me for being so rude, but you weigh 175 pounds?" I replied that yes, I do (only fudging by a pound). She then said, "I weigh 170 pounds and I look fat and you look so good and thin." 

And now I was shocked, I hope I didn't show it, because I would have guessed she weighed 190 or so because she was quite heavy. Not morbidly so, but she was overweight and I would never guess in a million years that she weighs less than me because I can only know how much I weighed when I looked that way. It would have been over 200 pounds with my height compared to hers.

She was about 5'3" so 170 will look different on her than on me, but she probably has a small frame and has little muscle mass. I have a big frame and probably significant muscle mass. I'm still 16 pounds from where I want to be, but it made me feel good. I get it frequently, "You look thin." I am not thin.. it's that I have muscle and fitness. People confuse thinness with looking fit.

The woman then said, "Thank you so much for talking with me. I'm just starting with walking, but you have inspired me. You look so great and it helps me be more motivated to keep walking."

And it motivate me too. People see my results and it makes me feel good. Now I want to do even more strength training. I can see the results from just the month of work I've been doing at the gym after taking some time away from strength training.

But this does go to show that people just can't get past the numbers on the scale. If people were to really look, they could  probably see I need to lose a little (by today's middle age standards). I know I need to lose weight and build muscle, but when I hear things like what this woman says (and someone at school said the other day too), it validates, a bit, that yes...the scale doesn't tell the whole story.

Stats for 9/20/12:

Highest weight: 275  Now: 176.2

Funny how my mind works - that darn goal number

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As you all can tell, I've been struggling around the same weight for quite awhile. I do well for awhile, get waylaid and then I have a gain, have to lose the weight again and then repeat.

My end goal has been a few times, to get to 155. Why 155? Well, that would take me to the OK BMI healthy range. While I totally don't think I'll be any less healthy at 160 than 155, there is that mental line - I had crossed into even societal, medical practice, insurance norms. Even if it's a ridiculous thing to think about it, it's there in my head.

Then there is the fact that 155.6 is exactly 100 pounds from when I started this current journey in January 2011.  There's something magical about that whole, round, big number. Saying 95 pounds sounds impressive, but also like, "oh so close to 100 pounds. Can't I make it an even 100?"

So... even now, I go back and forth with the end goal weight. My husband thinks 155 is possible, but not necessary. 160 is fair, good, and probably even gets me to the body fat percentage I want. And, he's right.

When I'm struggling with gains, or stall outs or feel unmotivated, I really struggle with the 155. It seems so elusive - so far away. Then I have a good streak, and the scale cooperates and then I get this idea in my head again of, "Well, why not? Why can't I make 155 if I lost 5 pounds this month?"

But of course, one month, one whoosh might not be followed for another whoosh for several weeks, or even a couple months. Those last few pounds are hard fought for. I can't really drop my calories any more without feeling terribly hungry. I can up my exercise, but that's hard to maintain especially with jobs and kids, etc.

Though right now, while the scale is dropping and I'm feeling strong, I'm thinking about it. 155 is only 19 pounds away. That doesn't feel so huge! Of course, 160 is closer and feels even more attainable. That's only 14 pounds away! Since I got down to 165 for a microsecond, I now know 160 is attainable. So, I'm going to ignore my desire to drop my ultimate goal of 155 (for now). I'm zeroing in on that 160 number. If I can to 165 by the end of the year, I will be so happy, and if I get to 160? I will do cartwheels. Hmmm... I haven't done cartwheels since I was in middle school. Think I would hurt myself?

In other news, I made an appointment with a phsical therapist about my shoulder. It's bugging me again. Before I start heavy lifting, I need to see if I have an injury I need to address.

And by this post, can you tell that the scale did another big drop?

Stats for 9/21/12:

Highest weight: 275  Now: 174.4

P.S. I now FINALLY match the weight in the top most picture on the right (again). Woohoo!

I really needed this Whoosh!

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My body has been so discombobulated these past few months that I haven't seen losses, real losses for a long time. I got waylaid by an injury, switched up my activity, started a new job, changed my thyroid meds, went on a long vacation, started my son with more speech therapy (takes up 8 hours a week) and  well, that's a lot.  My cycles got messed up and I couldn't even count on my typical monthly pattern of stall out for 2.5 weeks and whoosh for 8-10 days.

Even now, I have no idea if I ovulated, but my body is behaving as if it did as I'm dropping weight nearly every day this week after holding steady for over two weeks, despite working out and eating right. I was hoping that I would see a whoosh, but I hoped that last month too and didn't get it.

This cycle, so far, I'm down 8 pounds. I don't think it's all fat (and muscle), but stubborn water weight too as I was re-adjusting to everything. I could tell that I looked smaller in the mirror recently (measurements go down typically before the scale goes down), so I'm not too surprised that the scale followed suit. I'm just a bit surprised at the amount of weight that is coming off - but pleasantly surprised.

I'm holding onto this feeling too as who knows when I'll see a drop on the scale again. Big losses like this don't happen as often at this stage  of weight loss any more.

In other news, my friend and I have decided for sure to join the Rock Your Jeans event. So happy I found someone to do it with me! Yay! I'm hoping that intense workout (and paying for that) will be what I need to push me to the end. I am now very, very fixated on the 160 by the end of the year. That would be so freaking awesome!

With that, I'm going to resist all temptation of cake batter and frosting that I'm about to go make for Sunday school tomorrow - nothing like a drop in the scale to motivate me to be good to KEEP that drop on the scale!  Better do it before I get too tired as tiredness makes me make worse decisions, always.

Oh, and happy autumn everyone! My favorite season!

Stats for 9/23/12:

Highest weight: 275 Now: 172.8

If money weren't an issue, would I get surgery?

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I was just asking myself this question after reading another thread. I know I will never have skin removal surgery because it's a moot point. It's not covered by health insurance for most people and I'm sure I would never be able to convince a doctor of it's necessity either as it doesn't hinder me or cause me problems in any way.

But I never asked myself, "well, what if money wasn't an issue?" Would I get the surgery?" And you know... I don't know. I have loose skin on my abdomen that could be taken care of by surgery and I have terrible bat wings. My inner thighs are wiggly too - not sure anything can be done about that one.

I ask myself, "Would I be willing to put up with the pain and healing for vanity?" As, for me, it would be about vanity. And, could I risk serious health side effects and even death for vanity? Again, I don't know... I'm thinking that even if everything was covered by insurance and that I didn't even have to pay a copay or deductible, I wouldn't do it.

And I think that's because I'm 42. I would probably feel differently if I were 25 or something. I'm married, plan to stay married. I'm scarred by pregnancies and my husband loves me and is happy with my body now. So... why would I risk so much? I might be willing to risk more if I had more years of feeling young and beautiful ahead of me.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think you need to roll over and die when you hit 50. I want to be a rocking 50! 60! and on up. I want people to say, "look at that grandma go!" But I guess I can forgive my body for having more imperfections at this age than I would have been able to do when I was much younger.

On the other hand... once in awhile I get a tickle in my brain about, "Wouldn't it be great to rock my clothes without loose skin? Wouldn't it be great to erase (or mostly erase) from my body the evidence of my fat past? But then... why did I let myself get fat in the first place? I wish I could figure that one out the most!

I'm in for it now - working with a personal trainer

To contact us Click HERE
I did an interview today with one of the people in charge of the personal trainers with the organization I work for and for where I go to the gyms. I had no idea there was so much you get when you hire a personal trainer.

So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.

I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!

When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!

I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.

And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.

I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.

2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."

And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.

Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.

Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)

All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.

I'm in for it now - working with a personal trainer

To contact us Click HERE
I did an interview today with one of the people in charge of the personal trainers with the organization I work for and for where I go to the gyms. I had no idea there was so much you get when you hire a personal trainer.

So, I learned a lot about what I'll be getting very soon with the Rock Your Jeans Challenge. For the Rock Your Jeans challenge, I'll be meeting with a personal trainer once a week for 8 weeks. In the first meeting, they spend an hour doing all sorts of tests - and I mean a lot of tests. Then, in the next week, they go over everything and use that information as a baseline as well as information on things that need work (along with your wishes) to come up with a program.

I just had absolutely no idea that they took measurements, used a fancy scale (no idea how accurate it is), did a stress test, a flexibility test, a physical fitness test (to exhaustion test) as well as a test on body alignment, and more. I'm sure I'm going to find out all sorts of things I had no idea about. I hope some of it is good news and not all bad!

When you are finished, they will retest many things to see your progress. This is, of course, what makes it worth it. Even if you don't see a loss on the scale, you should see gains everywhere else - flexibility, strength, agility, well, ok, losses of inches on the measuring tape!

I'm sure for most everyone this is super embarrassing, but hey... I can't see how I got better if I don't go through it.

And, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to do this until recently, which is a shame really as I think it would have been really useful to have this service - helping me along the way so that I had more support with my weight loss journey and my fitness improvement.

I had a few people tell me it would be useful, but there were several reasons for not doing it. 1. and mostly, was that I was embarrassed with my weight and my lack of fitness. Who did that hurt? No one but me, of course.

2. Money. with me not working, it was too difficult of me to ask my husband if it was OK to spend the money on a personal trainer. Don't get me wrong, he probably would have agreed to it if I felt it would have been useful, but I would have felt guilty about it. I would have wondered, always, if I was wasting money or not during a time we were pinching pennies more than now- like "Maybe I could have done just as well on my own without spending all this money."

And I guess 3. is Fear of disappointing someone else. I didn't know what I was capable of. I was afraid of failure. And, since I am a people pleaser, I was afraid of letting down a trainer. I want to be able to live up to what they expect of me. I didn't want to find it was too hard and that I gave up. Maybe not on all of it, but it would be hard for me to go to a gym later if I felt I didn't give my all to PT sessions. My problem, yes, but that's the way I am.

Now, with some time at this and some more personal growth. (Yes... even at 42 you can still grow! ) I'm ready for it. I'm ready for getting somewhere it would be difficult for me to do on my own and I know now that I'm really only disappointing myself and hurting myself if I give up or don't give my all. Personal trainers will care (if they are good), but they also won't be dissappointed in me either if I can't do one more push-up.

Will I decide I want to do more after these 8 weeks (besides continuing with working on my fitness)? Who knows. The gym will have a Biggest Winner contest in January and then following that The Next Great Eight (for the next 8 weeks following the Biggest Winner event). That would give me 24 weeks of personal training at a discount, working with others with similar goals to my own. Might even help me meet some new people too. (I still have a pathetically horrible social circle!)

All I know is that I'm looking forward to working with a personal training and working hard for this last bit of the year and I'm glad I'm overcoming a lot of my hangups.

So, my jeans trying day was yesterday!

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I didn't spend a whole day jeans shopping. I hit one store, tried on a couple and that was it. That now makes three days I tried on a few jeans and the conclusion each of the times was the same. The 10s are too big. They don't 'feel' that they are too big, but that is because of the lycra. Now that I've tried on others, I realize that they are.

The size 8 is probably the best size for me at this current second. They go on easily, they feel nice. The size 6 is just a tad snug, not unbearably so and not crazy, horrible muffin top snug, but tighter than I would wear my jeans (though jeans are supposed to be snug when you try them on).

For shits and giggles I did grab a size 4 in the design and cut of the same jeans I ultimately bought just to see how they would fit. This Rock Your Jeans thing is supposed to be a challenge to fit into a smaller jeans. Well, I don't see how it will ever be possible to fit into a 4. I couldn't even get them past my knees (so no, there are no photos of that!). Yes, I've tried on a few extremely large 4s in the past, but those are just jeans/skirts that are clearly way out of line with the mainstream.

So, I think this size 6 will be it! The size to try to skinny into for all my pants. I highly doubt I'll ever wear a 6 in a dress as I have a bigger upper body (large rib cage and boobs) and bigger upper arms, but that's OK! I'm completely satisfied in knowing that I'm wearing (or close to wearing) a size 6 on the bottom. That is a 12/14 from my high school days. Don't believe me? I have a size 16 LLBean skirt from 1995 (the oldest piece of clothing I own) that fits perfectly now... LLBean always tended to run smaller than most stores, so their 16 is more like a 14 elsewhere just like their 10s today fit me more like other store's 8s.

As promised photos. These photos aren't the greatest and they don't show all the jeans I tried on as I didn't have a camera the first day I tried on jeans - the day I discovered I could wear 6-8-10.

So... my current jeans - size 10 DKNY:





 Now when I see them, I see they are a bit baggy. Are they wearable? Of course, but they aren't great.

These here are the jeans I tried on at Ann Taylor two days ago. I took the photos to show the fit, but I didn't like the cut of the jeans - the pockets were too low on the butt and overall, they didn't fit great:

Here is the 8:



 And here is the 6:



I didn't have more time that day, so I went home to try again yesterday. Yesterday I went to Nordstroms. They were having a big sale, so I thought, why not. I can try a lot of different brands there. Well, I only tried Lucky Brand. I went in thinking I would try Calvin Klein, but I didn't like the cut. The sales associate said I should try Lucky Brand. And I liked them.

Here is the 8 in a straight leg:



And here is the 6 in the same designer, but in boot cut:


I simply cannot see the difference in fit between the 8s and 6s. Maybe if I super, duper nitpick I can, but there is 1" size difference between the 6 and the 8 in all the brands I tried. That's not a big difference. They 'say' there is also just 1" difference for the brand I'm trying on between the 4 and 6 too. Um, I don't think so!

So, that was my jeans shopping experience. I got these Sofia Boot Lucky Brand jeans. Did I pay $99? for them. Nope. They were 40% off at Nordstroms and then yesterday they were giving away $20 gift cards if you spent over $40. These jeans, with tax cost $41. Not bad at all!

 I tried on a dress later and I need a large. I'm simply not petite and never will be, but I sure hope I'll be Rocking those jeans with a better fit (less snug) in a few weeks!

Just fun, frivolous stuff

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I'm glad I have a busy life. I'm a happier person when I have a busy life, but we can slow down a bit, OK? Geez...

Anyway... lots of little stuff - some of it trivial, some of it ponderings, but it's about my day on Sunday and my thoughts.

First,  I didn't post at all yesterday as I was out and about from 9 am until 10:30 pm. Then I was just wiped out.

So my day yesterday... Sundays I always go into Virginia for Sunday School where I teach. That usually means that I leave the house around 9:15-9:30 am and we get back home around 2:30- 3:00 pm or so because we usually stop at Whole Foods on the way home.

This Sunday, there was another meeting at 6 pm that I wanted to go to. It didn't make sense to drive home 45 minutes and then to drive back an hour just so that I could spend 3 hours at home. So, I just stayed in Virginia and hung out for a few hours - alone, no kids, nowhere to rush off to. Ah!!!!

So, after Whole Foods (where I sent my husband and younger son off with the other car), I decided to go to a posh mall nearby. I wanted to go to a particular kitchen store as I hadn't been there for a long time and I really like kitchen shops and another favorite fun store.

I parked the car outside of Neiman Marcus, so that meant I had to walk through the store to get to the rest of the mall. I entered on the second floor from the parking lot. I entered near where they have the handbags. It's beautifully arranged with each handbag in a little spot light. There's a Prada section, a Fendi section, and I walked down the middle near the Jimmy Choo bags. $3000 handbags are commonplace there.

I had to go down the escalator to get to the main level. At the bottom they have their Christmas area set up. Yes, they do. it was September 30th folks - a day before the start of the month of October -  and the Christmas stuff was up. I walked by a pretty wreath - $180.

I then had to walk by the ladies dresses. They were pretty and again, there aren't tons of things, just a few highlighted items. There was a sales rack in the middle. Every day/business dresses were on sale for $400. I saw a really pretty dress in the regular section. Their sizing is European. They had a 44 which is the same as a 8 in US sizes. I had no intention of buying it, but I thought, what the heck. let me try it. I asked a sales lady for help (as changing rooms are individual rooms that are locked). She opened the door to the changing room that had a huge lighted 3 sided mirror, a comfy chair to sit on and tons of space. I was asked if I would like some water while I tried it on... Um, no. Made me glad that I was still all dressed up in my better clothes. If I went in my mommy clothes, maybe they would have just laughed at me and not let me try it on. (Kidding). I just would have felt sillier.

I tried on the dress and it was cute - artsy and fun and it fit (though not with the bra I had on). Tempted to buy it? No. I was not going to spend $895 on a M. Missoni dress. But I saw vanity sizing hasn't skipped the top designers either.

That was enough of that store - onwards! I didn't go into any other major stores, but take a look at the directory. Sure, they have a Macy's. It's not the typical Macy's. This is the posh, super high end stuff you don't see in the typical Macy's. I'm telling you - the only people who can buy in these stores are the "once in a life time I'm going to splurge" kind of people and the super rich. You know, the Ann Romney types. An outfit - shoes, dress, handbag would cost between $2000-$5000.

Yet, there is an entire mall like this. And it's not like this is the only mall like this in the DC area. So, there are other posh places too - for the super rich. Seriously, if you are that rich, why not just have your clothes custom made? Why go to a mall? It was bizzarro!

So, I went to my little kitchen shop (also browsed through Williams Sonoma) and found the stuff I was looking for - gems in the clearance section. I got a Kugelopf pan. Yes, they are different than bundt pans for cheaper than I can get elsewhere, a mixer blade for my mixer (cheaper at SLT and those by KA), and finally, this little jobbie, Kwik de Buyer Piston Funnel. No idea what I'll use it for yet, but it was out of box and way cheap, so I got it. Spent about $60 on fun stuff for me that will last forever and ever, unlike a dress I'll wear once or twice and that's it.

Then, I went up to one of my favorite stores. I love Anthropologie. I never allow myself to look and to be tempted by their regularly priced items. They are simply pricey - too pricey for my blood, but probably one of the cheaper stores in that mall. But I love the vintage, kitchy feel to it. They do, however, have great, great sales. The only things I've ever bought from there though are home items. I have a couple blankets, a few hand towels, that fabulous cake stand I adore, and a book or two. I have never, ever been able to wear anything from there.

Last January, when I gained all that holiday weight, I went to their store and I couldn't fit anything. Not only was I too tubby, but I have boobs. I think that store is for the tall and thin with small frames. I still love it though and hoped one day to have something from that store as I would have never imagined I would ever be able to wear something from that. it's like the "dream" store... which also means I dream of having a different body type than the one I have - grass is always greener?

So, this time, even though I'm not back down to my all time low, I decided to take a peak at their sales rack. I did see a really cute overalls jumpsuit. Not something I'm usually drawn too, but it was cute. They had only two sizes in the store - a size 0 and a 10. Well, my experience with Anthropologie is that their sizes run small, but I thought I would try it - what the heck.

I got into the room and find myself almost able to wear the ten - if I didn't have to breathe and if skin tight was my style. I could see it would be really fun and cute though. But, for $70, it wasn't that cute and it didn't fit.

After that I walked back out of the mall and drove closer to where the meeting was going to be held. I found the Barnes and Noble and hung out there for the last couple hours. I love bookstores. I walked out of there with a couple of Halloween books for my 7 year old. Yep... might have only been away from the kid for a couple hours, but I thought about him. Got the classic Charlie Brown story, and a nice one about the circle of life with the pumpkin (yes, I'm a bit granola-like). Oh, and a Halloween activity book. Man, he LOVES that thing!

So, kitchen stuff for me and books for the little guy. For a day out, spending under $100 bucks (no food or drink) isn't too bad. If my spouse complains, I'll go and buy that $895 dress that I'll be able to wear a few times and that's it.

Then, I went to the meeting, which was great, drove home and on the way home, I got to thinking about that jumper. Dang it... that jumper is denim. That jumper might be the thing I should be trying to fit into by the end of this Rock Your Jeans event. Silly me... I could zip it up. It would be a challenge and I would look so good in that outfit once I was fit and trimmer. Darn it, Melissa! Why didn't I think of that then! I don't live near an Anthropologie store!

Last night I looked it up online and yes, they have it in the online store, but not in a size 10 or 12 or 14. Ugh... Then I got another brilliant idea. I had to take my son to speech therapy today in Baltimore - they have a couple stores around there. Maybe, maybe one would have it there? So, this morning I decided to look up the number to the store. When I went online to find the number, I typed in the number on my phone and then went to the page of the overall/jumper so I could tell her what I was looking for. My heart jumped as I saw that the price was reduced again. It was $39 now. That would be great if I could find it, but now it was also more likely to be gone.

I called the store and asked if they had the overalls in a 10 or 12. She looked and they had them in a 10, not a 12. I asked her to hold them for me. After my son's speech therapy, I drove the 7 miles over there. And here, again, is another HUGE mall and lots of posh stores sprinkled with more normal upper end stores. I had no time to look, but man... good thing I never go mall shopping. I could get in serious trouble - another Sur La Table store, a Williams Sonoma, a Pottery Barn! Eeeek! All dangerous places for me. This "clothing" thing is a new thing for me as shopping for clothes has gotten fun after eons of it being pure hell and demoralizing.

Anyway, I went to the store and went back to the sales rack. They had a bunch of them in the store and they had the 10 and the 12. How did the sales lady not see the 12? Do I go for the ultimate challenge of the 10? TIGHT? Or do I go with the one that is pretty close to fitting perfect now? I wouldn't ever wear it as a overalls without a shirt... which should it be? I chickened out and bought the one that fits me close to perfect now (and it is cute). I figured... I can always take it in if it gets baggy, but I just didn't have the faith, in the end, that I would skinny down enough to be able to wear the 10 at any point and then I would have wasted the $41 after tax. Wanna see it? Here (Don't tell me it won't look cute with a shirt, because too bad - that's how I'll be wearing it!) While I was looking online, I also saw this. Now come on - a $350 Levi's overalls? huh? Even when that goes on major sale it will still be about $100 and still way overpriced.

But back to the size 12 instead of the size 10... did I wimp out on getting the 12 after all? Am I selling myself short on getting that much smaller? It's just hard for me to imagine myself getting much smaller just with more work on strength training with a personal trainer. Can't tell if it's that I have too little faith in myself or that I'm just being realistic.

Phew... I was long-winded today and now you know even better than my spouse does what I bought yesterday and today. Now... no more shopping!

And that darn scale has been creeping up on me - HATE that.. but it's water - hormones are at it again. But I fulfilled a dream today! I bought an outfit from Anthropologie and it wasn't even in their biggest size - even though I did wimp out and got the 12 instead of the 10.

Highest weight: 275  Now: 175

My appointment with the physical therapist

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As you may or may not recall, in April I hurt my shoulder. It wasn't during a class or while doing landscaping. No, it was while I was at the grocery store and pulling a cart. This cart is the one that can pull behind the bicycle. It was filled with food and when I went to pull it, I didn't realize I had it turned around backwards, so I yanked it the wrong way and that wrenched my shoulder back in a wrong way.

It hurt pretty bad that day and led to migraine headaches and muscle strain in my shoulder and neck. That's when I stopped going to body pump for awhile.

The pain got better and it got to the point that it only ached here and there. When I pull on a door sometimes. When I sleep and put my arms over my head, it will wake me up from the discomfort.

I started doing landscaping in the yard and it didn't bug it and this later summer I started back up with body pump and it didn't hurt it. Yet, I would still have this ache in certain movements (none of which I ever do in weights class).

My husband convinced me it was time to call a physical therapist, so I did. That appointment was on Monday. The PT first took the history of what happened, and then he started doing a series of tests. He examined my posture, my flexibility, my range of motion, my balance and my strength. If anything hurt or ached, I was to let him know.

In the end, I was proud to hear that I was strong and he could tell I was active. All in all my range of motion, flexibility, strength, balance are all very good and stable. My posture though needs some tweaking and that was probably what led to the injury.

The shoulders round more forward than they should and the shoulder blade sticks out in the back more than they should (and I know that my posture has gotten better, but 20 months of being active doesn't undo decades of not being active). This, over time, has led to an imbalance in my muscles - I'm too tight in front and not strong enough in back - it is priming my shoulder for an injury as it can't rotate normally. Both shoulders and it's probably causing some impingement issues.

Then, I did have that injury. What I also found is that a lot of the other problems I sometimes get - tingling in the right pinky, carpel tunnel liking pains in the forearm are all caused by the shoulder problem. Basically, my nerve is impinged is part of the problem, but when I wrenched my shoulder I injured one of the heads of the biceps which runs through the same path as the nerve and since that opening is already being squeezed wrongly, that biceps head hasn't had a chance to heal. Lastly, there is a possibility of a tear in my lakrum. That can only be discovered with an MRI. If it's bad, it might need surgery, but it is probably small if it is there at all. We'll see soon enough.

All this time my shoulder had only ached dully. However, after all those simple tests, my shoulder aches a lot. I did body pump tonight and found that it was aching more than usually and my forearm was aching more than usually - all that arm is just 'off', so going to the PT in the short run, stirred things up that were somewhat dormant.

Here's hoping things get better! For now I can keep doing what I'm doing for fitness and I'll be doing PT twice a week. I'm starting with some stretching exercises for the shoulders to correct my posture. And let me tell you, my back muscles are FEELING it!